Schema Magazine

Monogamist Relationships Sadder Than \"Speed Dating\" Video?

\n\nA funny but depressing YouTube video called \"Speed Dating\" by Emma Koenig and David Seger makes fun of the vicious circle of modern dating, including awkward first dates and rebound hook-ups. But what about us serial monogamists? There's plenty to make fun of there. \n\nHere are some pretty sad things that happen in monogamist relationships:\n\n1) Your dates consist of taking turns watching the other person's favourite shows, including the most ridiculous and idiotic show ever called Finding Bigfoot on the Discovery Channel. Please note that they never do find Bigfoot.\n\n2) Napping together becomes a favourite activity of yours. Sleeping together without actually sleeping together.\n\n3) You start farting in front of each other. Like all the time.\n\n4) When you go out to the club with your friends, you are no longer driven by the excitement of possibly hooking up with a hot stranger, so you just wanna go home at 11:30 p.m. so you can sleep.\n\n5) You stop wearing make up because there's no need to impress the opposite sex.\n\n6) You wear all your boyfriend's clothes because they're just more comfortable, so you end up looking like a shapeless man half the time.\n\n7) You start sharing all your friends because it's just easier. And they're pretty much all couples.\n\n8) Going out for gourmet dessert means buying frozen Safeway chocolate lava cake and heating it up on a baking sheet.\n\nOkay, it's really hard to find sad things within my monogamist relationship. I may hang out in sweats make-up free on a Saturday night eating ice-cream while reluctantly watching Finding Bigfoot with my dude, but it's pretty awesome.\n\nI know this video is depressing. But when you find that one person who will like you even though you look gross, belt out Taylor Swift songs in his car, and fart in front of him, it really is magic. Maybe not the most glamorous magic, but it's magic nevertheless.\n\nDon't give up. One of those dates will turn into your sweatpants partner for life. I know this to be true. \n\nAnd I'm sorry I couldn't out-depress this video about single life.