Schema Magazine

Top 10 Acute Observations of the Coldplay and Rihanna \"Princess of China\" video

\n\nA lot of people are confused about the \"Princess of China\" music video. Here are ten things I've observed from this very perplexing video.\n\n1) This video looks like someone swallowed every stereotype of Asia and then threw up all over it.\n\n2) How does China come into play in this song? I don't get it.\n\n3) Is Rihanna the Chinese princess? Then why is she a thousand-armed Bodhisattva? Or a scantily dressed geisha?\n\n4) Rihanna's leg looks like Angelina Jolie's right leg at the 2012 Oscars. \n\n5) What are Rihanna's extra long gold fingernails made of?! Remind me not to get a manicure from whoever did her nails.\n\n6) They're flying through the air like kung fu masters! But then they just sort of float past each other instead of kicking ass. Very anti-climatic. \n\n7) Who are the back-up dancers? I kind of feel bad for them. \n\n8) I waited the entire video expecting one of them to die, but neither of them do. Aw shucks.\n\n9) This would make a terrible movie.\n\n10) The most bad-ass guy of the entire video is hands-down this guy:\n\n\n