Schema Magazine

Photo courtesy of mochimag.com

Teresa Hsiao of The Huffington Post recently wrote an article called "A White Man's Guide to Dating Asian Girls". Here is my guide for Chinese girls that are intending to date a white guy some time in their future.

Step One: Avoid Asian-lady fetishists
These guys have impossible standards, such as expecting you to wear elaborate kimonos or look stunning in a qi-pao (extremely difficult if you have any meaty lumps and bumps that aren't the good kinds). You also run the risk of being called a victim of colonialism. Luckily, these men can usually be identified quite easily. If they use the following terms when speaking about Asian women—"exotic," "nice and quiet," or "me love you long time"—run. Run as fast as you can.

Step Two: Meeting the parents
Congratulations! The white dude you're dating happens to be a nice guy who likes you for reasons other than the fact that you're Asian. You'll have to meet his parents sooner or later. One thing to keep in mind is that humour and hugs are awesome at winning over white parents. If you bring them oranges as a gift the first time you come over for dinner because your mom strongly encouraged you to do so, his parents won't get it. Talk about barbeque grills and lawnmowers with his dad and talk about 30-minute meal recipes with his mom. You'll be hugging on a day-to-day basis in no time. Easy peasy!

Step Three: Marrying a white dude
Western tradition calls for the bride's family to pay for most of the wedding. Chinese tradition calls for the groom's family to pay for most of the wedding. Expect no one wants to pay for anything. Try to come out of this alive. If you both make it, then you'll know you have something absolutely amazing.