Schema Magazine

The Republican Candidacy Race | A Guide

When one reads up on the Republican candidacy race, it would be easy to envision them questioning the time period we indeed live in. Is this happening in real time or before the separation of church and state? A lot of the positions held on the issues resemble an aggressive return to fundamentalist Christian beliefs, and the flood of laudable quotes coming from the candidates could drown all the writers from the Daily Show and Colbert Report combined. All of this culminates into a cluster cuss of a race, and if you don't follow politics on a regular basis, this makes a particularly difficult one to understand.

I could write a book about each of the candidates based just on the race so far. I mean, pretty much everything that comes out of Rick Santorum's mouth is just ripe for comedy. The same goes for Mitt Romney. Well, and Newt Gingrich. And even Ron Paul sometimes, when he does get to add his two cents to the debate, but to be honest, no one really cares at this point. It's all just a little overwhelming. So I'm presenting a layman's terms guide for any person to grasp just where these middle-aged to decrepit white men stand. I will be up front and honest right now and say that my bias is going to show through, and you might get offended at times, but the level of crazy I present these men at is almost certainly 100% accurate. So let's get to know Newt, Mitt, Rick and Ron without further adieu.

The Economy
This is one the heaviest issues weighing on Americans' shoulders and as such the candidates have been aggressive in defending their positions on the country's financial state. Gingrich has said he would take the country back to the individual tax cuts seen during the Bush administration, because they really left the economy in a stable condition on the up and up. Also, I'm pretty sure he has a job stimulus package that will open up a new market in the illustrious field of dinosaur cloning. He loves dinosaurs.

We all hate taxes, but Republicans especially hate taxes—it was a pretty important catalyst for American independence from the British. That's why Romney, Santorum and Paul would all lower taxes for various sectors. But what about the people really taking on the brunt of the crisis? "I'm not concerned about the very poor," Romney has stated, "there's a safety net there." Oh good, I know they were really worried about that one.

Throughout the debt crisis Republicans have stood by the belief that taxes do not need to be raised, they just need to cut spending. Problem is, most of the areas that national spending are concentrated are those in which few cuts could be made. Take National Security, for example, of which we'll move on to next.

National Security
Iran is a hotter topic than Snookie's pregnancy in the arena of foreign affairs these days. It's all they're talking about. If they aren't talking about Iran directly, they're talking about how Obama is being such a pansy about the issue. Santorum believes that America should be working with Israel to eliminate any nuclear capacity Ahmandinejad might be fostering. He also had this to say: "There are no Palestinians. All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis. There are no Palestinians." And people want him to lead the country.

It should come as no surprise that Gingrich, with his dinosaur lust, also shares other 8 year-old boy interests, and space is one of them. He believes a moon base strictly for Americans is absolutely essential to preserve the integrity of the country, and I'm sure his tax cuts will provide enough financial clout to do so. As for Iran, he strongly believes in the need for "maximum covert operations" to eliminate their nuclear program, because everything is more fun in secret.

Now, I should have mentioned this earlier, but there are a few things you should know about Romney. First, he's rich. Really rich. He personally funded a majority of both his runs at the candidacy, and that's millions of dollars. And yet, like many other Republicans, he continues to say that Obama is an elitist which places him out of touch with the American people. Yet, Romney is so stinking rich, he probably uses dollar bills to wipe his ass, and that can only bring him closer to his voters. Also, Romney doesn't really have any solid positions on, well, anything. He flip flops on policies constantly, at times refuting what he said only minutes before with a completely different statement. I guess it's part of his strategy to appeal to voters, because that way he's covering both sides of the argument. So for now, he's saying that America should only use force in Iran if absolutely necessary. For now.

Immigration is another important issue among the candidates, and the easiest way to sum it up is this: secure the US-Mexican border and keep illegal immigrants out. But in all fairness, if one of them were elected President, I probably wouldn't want to enter the country legally either.

Oh, I'm sorry Ron Paul, did you say something? No? Okay, moving on.

Healthcare
This is a big issue. Republicans love talking about health care, or more specifically, they love hating on Obamacare. Which makes this category pretty easy to sum in terms of their positions, because all four candidates have stated the same thing when it comes to health care: destroy Obama's health care overhaul. Each of the men have a little something extra to add in an effort to separate themselves from the crowd, but really, they all want the same thing. How could they hate something so much that VP Joe Biden called a "big fucking deal" on national television? It's partly to do with government involvement. Anytime the government has more control or actively engages in something, Republicans red flag it, and this is no different. But the most annoying part about all this ado over Obamacare is the fact that Romney is the brainchild behind it, and Romneycare is almost identical to it. Remember that thing I said about flip-flopping? Yeah...

Social Issues
This is the area which most clearly illustrates how backwards some of these men's policies are. Banning same-sex marriage? Alright, we've been hearing that one for a while, but establishing a constitutional amendment that would bar it? Thanks, Santorum. That takes the issue to a whole other level, down to the very fundamentals the country is based on. All of them support states banning abortion, which isn't surprising and has always been a very controversial issue. But the whole fuss over contraception is just flabbergasting. This stems from the deep-seeded hatred over Obamacare, as many institutions believe it goes against religious beliefs for companies to include birth control in their insurance coverage. I'm sorry Republican candidates, but do you really think America can afford the air time for that many new episodes of Teen Mom? Realistically, people are going to have sex, the abysmal knowledge that American youth has about sexual reproduction can't take anymore hits. These issues all seem to be fear driven—fear of change, fear of progress, fear of accepting the dynamism of society. And perhaps worst of all, the fear that we won't have enough small, dexterous hands to help out with the moon colony.

So where have these positions taken the candidates so far? It would appear that with Romney's recent win over Illinois, he has primed himself for the win, but Santorum has been hot on his heels for most of the race. After Super Tuesday, Santorum still managed to win three out of ten states, coming up right behind Romney's four. There's been no clear cut winner as of yet, and the lack of stability strikes fear in my heart with each passing day. More importantly, what does this mean for Obama? To be honest, I do not think that the President is running against someone but rather something: the economy. Should improvement occur, then Obama seems poised to secure a second term. Should the economy take another downturn however, we might see Americans listless for the change he promised. Yet as alarming as some of these policy positions might seem to some of us, keep in mind that those supporting them only reflect certain demographics, and many of their stances alienate the candidates from many of the voters. With all of the issues being so charged both politically and socially, we can be sure to see a great deal more occur within the ebb and flow of the candidate leader, and that Obama's biggest challenge will be sorting through the goldmine of quotes from these men that he can throw in their face later on.

#Savemyfriend | Lisa & Laura Ling Stand Up to North Korea

By Kayo Homma-Komori

I remember the day I heard that Kim Jung-Il had passed. It was plastered all over the news, on every newspaper and on every television channel. Maybe it was naive of me, but I couldn't help but think what a defining moment this could be, how the North Korean people might finally find freedom from years and years of repression.

In retrospect, that was naive of me to think so. Clearly the situation has not improved with Kim Jung-Un, son of Kim Jung-Il, taking over the country. He has announced that any North Koreans who flee the country during the 100-day mourning period of his father will face annihilation, along with their families. That's right, annihilation. That's a strong word. Not only that, but prior to facing the death penalty, "traitors" may be subjected to demanding physical labour and torture.

Recently, 30 North Korean refugees were found and arrested in China. The Chinese government wants to send these refugees back to North Korea, where they will obviously face grave punishment.

Whether they like it or not, China has been shoved into the spotlight of the international stage. Right now, the country has the opportunity to rewrite history in the palm of its hands—either send 30 people (mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters) back to North Korea to face their death, or protect these 30 people and show North Korea who's boss.

Just in case China needs a little push to "do the right thing" (in the words of my good friend Spike Lee), Lisa & Laura Ling are here to help. The successful journalist sisters have created a PSA and campaign, #Savemyfriend, urging people to spread the word and sign a petition to end these atrocities. This is not just a petition to save our 30 North Korean friends being held in China right now; this is a petition to save all our North Korean friends who currently live without the daily freedoms that we easily take for granted.

If my words aren't enough, let Laura & Lisa tell you how it really is. And I mean, really how it is. Laura Ling experienced the threat of North Korean imprisonment in 2009 when she was detained for illegally entering the country.

If you feel moved, please go sign the petition and save our friends.

Posted by Kayo Homma-Komori | March 22, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Activism, Censorship, China, Kayo Homma-Komori, Korea

"You Mean, Muslims are Normal?" | TLC's All-American Muslim Cancelled

By Shima Ghailan

After only one season, All-American Muslim got the axe. Was the cancellation premature? Perhaps. Was it expected? You bet. Why? To rephrase Jack Nicholson and the ever-so popular line: people "can't handle the truth!"

All-American Muslim followed the lives of 5 American-Muslim families living in Dearborn, Michigan. It essentially showed their days at work, family conflicts, personal conflicts, and briefly touched on the racial discrimination and stereotype profiling these individuals face.

I watched the first 3 episodes of the show and in fact, I forced myself to watch the 3rd one till the end. It wasn't because I was opposed to the over-simplified representation of Muslims to a couple of families living in Dearborn who happen to be all somewhat related to each other, come from the same ethnic background, and have rather similar experiences. I stopped watching because it was boring. Mind you, I'm not particularly a fan of reality TV shows and All-American Muslim was no exception.

While the show didn't tell my story, it showcased—albeit a tiny, edited portion—the lives of those particular Muslims. It was boring. It was typical. It was similar to the lives of many others. I can assure you some viewers were looking forward to the crazy, to the plotting and the planning of world destruction. But they were instead presented with a family eating dinner, a woman having her first baby, a couple getting married and a football coach giving the usual inspirational talk before a game. People don't want to see that, they don't want to see the truth—that's why they tune into Hollywood movies and Fox News.

The main people-generated tag line that has been associated with the show is "controversial". Now, I have placed much effort into this matter—I created colour-coded mind maps, Venn diagrams, excel charts and hosted international conference calls, and I have yet to determine what was so controversial about the show? Was it:

• The mom having her first baby and dealing with the stress that comes with that?


• The interracial couple?


• The single mom?


• The football coach that gets upset after his team loses a game?

No? You mean these challenges, personality traits and family structures exist in all cultures and ethnic groups? You don't say.

Perhaps the show didn't do so well because it failed to represent the stereotypical, unfounded personas associated with Muslims and Arabs. Maybe that's what some people were anticipating to see, but to their dismay, they just couldn't find any in real life.

Sorry, no jaw-dropping controversy here. But just hang tight for Toddlers & Tiaras, it's coming up next.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 19, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Shima Ghailan, Television

Representin' by Swabbing | 331 National Chinese Stem Cell Drive

By Ada Lee

Picture Source: Other Half Facebook Page

I'm going to admit this up front: I'm one of those people who see canvassers and promoters in sight and immediately plan my escape plan. I should know better, having been a canvassers myself, but the impatient little me inside gets a little claustrophobic when talking to these promoters, because I never know what they want from me. Their earnest tactics make my indecision and commitment phobia grow like weed on my guilty heart.

It happened the other day. As I was trudging through the rain downpour that was last week, I came across a bunch of promoters near a booth at the Student Union Building at UBC. I steered clear and quickened my steps, but I couldn't help but notice the gigantic Karen Mok (major Asian musician and actress, if you must know) and Canadian iceskating legend Patrick Chan posters. Splashed across them were positive looking messages.

My curiosity was satiated later by, of course, Google. From the limited coverage (only a handful of mainstream English news coverage!) of the event, I gathered this was a stem cell donor drive. In particular, it was a nationwide drive to increase the number of Chinese Canadian registered donors.

I dug a little deeper. The OtherHalf Chinese Stem Cell Initiative, a charity started in 2008 by a group of Chinese Canadians, works with the OneMatch Stem Cell and Marrow Network to increase the amount of registered Chinese donors in the pool. OtherHalf's annual nationwide drive this year will happen on March 31st, and they have already set up booths at various university campuses.

On the day of March 31st, booths will be set up at major community centers and/or shopping malls.

According to OtherHalf, "Caucasian patients have about 80% success rate of finding an unrelated matched donor while Chinese patients have less than a 10% chance because Chinese are under-represented in the worldwide stem cell registry."

In the global pool, while people of Chinese descent represent 20% of the world's population, they make up less than 3% of the 19 million registered donors. Since stem cell matches are most possible within the same ethnicity, this lack of representation seriously hurts the chances of finding a donor match for those in need of a stem cell transplant.

At this point, I regret walking right by the booth at UBC. But why regret when I can do my part by inviting those of you Schema readers of Chinese descent to get registered? The Chinese communities have spread the word through newspaper and television, but oddly this piece of news has yet to permeate into the Vancouver young Chinese Canadian circles that we occupy.

So tweet this, Facebook it, and tell all your friends! All it takes is a swab inside your cheeks. I don't want to sound cheesy, but the truth is really as simple as this: swab your cheeks, save a life.

But wait—this isn't a message going out only to our Canadians of Chinese descent. Virtually all ethnic groups in Canada are underrepresented. OneMatch, by the Canadian Blood Services, are specifically looking for young males of all ethnic groups ages 17-35 to contribute to their registry.

With the earnest (but gentle, I swear) hassling of a promoter, I urge you all to start swabbin' and representin' now.

Only then can you be as happy and cheeky as Patrick here.

For Vancouverites, here are your closest locations for the 331 drive.

Saturday, March 31, 2012
11AM - 5PM

• Aberdeen Centre - (4151 Hazelbridge Way, Richmond)
• Crystal Mall - (4500 Kingsway, Burnaby)
• Killarney Community Center - (6260 Killarney Street, Vancouver )

Not sure what it takes to donate? Check out OneMatch's website onematch.ca for the myths of stem cell donations.

***
Ada Lee is a way-too-old Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Sustainability, books/films, and travelling are her thing, but so are bad jokes and all things geeky. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Ada Lee | March 20, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, Canada, Ethnicity, Events, Vancouver

Should Rihanna Collaborate With Chris Brown?

By Kait Bolongaro

Since her music debut in 2005, Rihanna has become one of the biggest stars on the planet. Almost all of her singles go straight to number one. So when her latest song "Birthday Cake" was remixed as a duet with her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, many heads turned in the music industry. This is the same Chris Brown who was convicted of assaulting her in 2009, so why is she working with him?

Rihanna spoke to Ryan Seacrest on his radio show about her choice to collaborate with Brown. Apparently, she approached him to work with her on "Birthday Cake" because she couldn't imagine doing the song with anyone else. She also proclaimed Brown as the "hottest R&B artist right now", and that working together was "music and it's innocent." Apparently fans are now hopeful the couple will reunite romantically despite their troubled past.

While Rihanna has never shied away from controversy, this collaboration is a bad idea on multiple levels. Many musicians have shunned Brown since his conviction. Brown should not be considered the "hottest R&B artist right now". Do we live in a culture that glorifies and accepts domestic violence? This seems to be the message Rihanna is sending to her fans by working with Brown.

I understand that abuse also has a psychological effect that is hard to overcome, but it is one thing to forgive and move on; it's another story to invite your abuser to work with you. I am a die-hard Rihanna fan, but this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I am concerned that it will encourage victims of domestic violence to reconcile or accept violence as part of a "normal" relationship. Violence is not acceptable regardless of how famous or rich someone is and no one should tolerate it in any of their personal relationships.

Posted by Kait Bolongaro | March 21, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Controversy, Kait Bolongaro, Music

Return to Sender | Seeking Asian Female

By Allan Lee

Premiering at the SXSW Film Festival, Seeking Asian Female is the new documentary by Debbie Lum who is making her directorial debut. The basic premise of the film is that Steven, a 60 year old white man and self confessed suffer of "yellow fever" seeks and desires to marry an Asian woman. Any Asian woman. He maintains numerous correspondences and eventually arranges a mail-order bride in Sandy, a 30 year old woman from Anhui, China.

What began as a fulfillment of a life long fantasy for Steve quickly turns problematic when Sandy arrives in the United States. Forced into a new relationship that is fraught with language and cultural differences, the married couple quickly experiences a variety of problems. Furthermore, the director, besides chronicling the relationship, is forced in the awkward position of becoming a de facto translator and marriage counselor. The film is billed as being "at the intersection of several timely subjects—finding love online, an increasing interest in New China, and what it means to have a race-based dating preference in a supposedly 'post-racial' America."

From the trailer of the film and the information listed on the website, Seeking Asian Female comes off as somewhat comedic and touches upon some of the issues its synopsis claims. However, I can't shake the feeling of disdain regarding Steven, who is singular in his pursuit of living out his fetish and fantasy. Thousands of people live out their fantasies and fetishes daily and for the most part, as long as people pursue their endeavors in a responsible and safe manner, it is of little concern. However, in the case of Steven, its seems his genuine shock that Sandy acts definite and like a real person with different moods and feelings just informs the audience as to his delusional attitude towards his marriage. Marrying an Asian women was his only goal and the fantasy and stereotypes he had created clearly blinded him from the hardships and initial problems his relationship with Sandy would face. He clearly didn't prepare for Sandy being disappointed and upset with the nature of their relationship.

Sandy isn't without fault either. She seems genuinely clueless to her situation, whether it is confusion with language and a difference in cultural norms. Furthermore, the director asks her point blank during a moment of genuine vulnerability whether she married Steven just to get her green card. It is impossible to know with exact certainty the reason why these two people entered into this marriage, however love probably isn't the main factor.

Another interesting aspect this documentary raises is the notion of mail-order brides. The internet has made it that much easier for men to find women around the world. I had no idea at the ease and accessibility of mail-order brides. I mean I didn't actually try and 'order a bride' but a quick 5 minute Google search made me disturbed. From an optics point of view, these website appear to be a few steps away from an adult listings website and some look like a Geocities website from the 1990s. Profiles have women posing in provocative pictures and having descriptions of their 'body types' and whether they had children or not. To know that people are essentially putting their entire lives on these websites is pretty disturbing. There is literally thousands of articles and stories describing the plight of mail-order brides with regards to sexual exploitation, human trafficking, and violence against women and girls. I don't believe this film is trying to touch upon the more insidious nature of mail-order brides, but unfortunately it is impossible to ignore.

Seeking Asian Female teaches us an important lesson: that reality is a lot more complicated and messy than our assumptions and stereotypes. Problems arise when our preconceived notions are shattered with proper human interaction and that basing a long term relationship on a fantasy probably isn't the best idea for happiness.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 18, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Allan Lee, Asian, Documentary, Film

Schema Presents | K-POP+J-POP Night at the Waldorf Hotel Friday March 23

By Beth Hong

Spring is upon us! It's time to open up your window, let in some fresh air, and put on your glittery dancing shoes. What's the occasion?

Schema Presents K-Pop + J-Pop Night at the Waldorf Hotel.
Prize: A pair of tickets to K-Pop + J-Pop Night. (up to 4 available)
Value: $24

To enter, leave a comment (with a valid email address) on this post (1 entry), and/or post the following on Twitter (1 entry):




#KPOPnight @waldorfhotel RT to win tix from @schema_magazine! http://bit.ly/wcQzaY









We will randomly draw up to four winners and notify you via email on Friday March 23.

Here's what you can expect on Friday: Mashups of North American Top-40 and K-pop hits, and getting to meet the fabulous contributors and writers at Schema Magazine in person.

For a refresher on K-Pop, here's a quick rundown on Pitchfork about the rise of K-pop in North America and worldwide. There's also a wonderful series on K-pop videos called K-Pop Music Mondays by a Toronto couple living in Korea.

Or, if you'd rather watch and listen for yourself, here are Top 5 all-time favourite K-pop songs from Blood Diamonds who will be DJ-ing on Friday night:

Blood Diamonds' Picks
1. 2NE1- "I am the Best"

2. GD&TOP feat. Park Bom- "Oh yeah"

3. Girls Generation- "Run Devil Run"

4. BIG BANG- "Tonight"

5. Hyuna and Hyungseung- "Troublemaker"

Also check out
Elite Gymnastics' KPOP Mix "All We Fucking Care About Is KPOP Whitehouse And Our Cats"

Posted by Beth Hong | March 19, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags:

The Japanese Custom of Gifting Fruit

By Codi Hauka

I love fruit. It's like nature's candy, but generally better for you and without the unnecessary wrappers, or as I like to call them, "the third wheel." Fruit is both a visually seductive and tastefully tantalizing food, which is why my fridge always has a constant supply of it. As much as I enjoy fruit, I can't say I would be thrilled if someone gave it to me as a gift. Heck, I'd probably be a little miffed if someone did that. But such a custom is the norm in Japan, where fruit is meticulously cultivated then gifted. We're not just talking your run of the mill Fuji Apple here either, this fruit is perfect.

Japan is home to the most expensive fruit shop in the world: Senbikiya. The store strives to grow and sell exquisite pieces of fruit that are much larger and more flavourful than that produced anywhere else. While taste is important, it is the visual appeal of the fruit that proves most crucial in its sale as a formidable gift. There are two gift-giving seasons in Japan that takes place in winter and summer, where the act of exchanging goods stems far beyond the Western birthday/Christmas/Valentine's sham routine. The tradition represents a tangible appreciation for family members, bosses, colleagues, and many others, which is why a prized specimen of fruit could be an appropriate expression of your thanks.

Perfection doesn't come cheap though. Think about it: if you wanted your face to look perfect, a bout of intense facials is going to cost you. It's the same idea with fruit in Japan—it needs to look stunning in order to properly convey how important the person you're gifting it to is. This is not to say that all fruit in the country is sold this way, or that the near perfect pieces from Senbikiya are not to be eaten. On the contrary, these delights are to be ingested to appreciate the elite level of flavour your taste buds may never be exposed to again.

Apples, for example, are grown to the size of a human head and go for 2,100 yen, or $25 each. For a perfectly round and evenly toned melon? That's going to cost about 34,650 yen, or $419 a pop. Sure, giving fruit might be a lovely gesture in the form of a gift, but why pay that much money for it? Co-owner of Senbikiya, Ms. Ishikawa, partly attributes it to the mentality of "Japanese-made is better." That in conjunction with the excessively labour intensive process involved in creating such pieces of perfection, as well as the attentive service provided by the store adds up to the final price tag. The heating bills for these greenhouses must be insane, using up to 55 litres of heating oil a day to assure an optimum temperature for the produce, and with a mere 3% of produce achieving the strict criteria farmers for Senbikiya demand of their fruit. This is not a business for people with shallow pockets.

The next time you enjoy the sweet juice of a honeydew melon, take a moment to consider that what you're eating is actually considered a luxury item in some parts of the world, and not for its scarcity but for its beauty. Just make sure you don't start giving vegetables as a gift, according to Senbikiya's owners, because really, who likes eating vegetables?

Posted by Codi Hauka | March 19, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Codi Hauka, Food, Japan

Ethnicquette | Asian Families in White Restaurants

By Vinnie Yuen

Going to a western restaurant with my parents is always an experience like no other. I remember we decided to try out Dine Out Vancouver many years ago to experience the taste of West Coast cuisine. The three-course menus seemed like a good deal, so my parents wanted to try it out.

At the restaurant, my mother wanted hot water instead of iced tap water. She did not care for tap water. At all. Neither did she care for the $2.50 charge for hot water and lemon. What a rip-off! (It really was.)

Sixteen-year-old me had to order for everyone.

"What is veal?" my dad asked. I answered, "It's baby cow. Beef."

"What is sole?" my mom asked. "It's fish," I said.

"So why don't they just say fish?" she wondered.

So I told the server what each of them wanted.

When we got our plated dinners, we would rotate them around the table after having a few bites, not unlike the rotating tables in Chinese restaurants. After all, we all wanted to have a taste of each others' food. I mean, we paid enough for it!

It was quite the scene, each of us rotating our dishes clockwise every 10 minutes. I was slightly mortified, but couldn't resist eating all three dishes instead of sticking to my own dish.

The most uncomfortable part of the meal for my parents was the servers' constant doting, asking us if the food was okay, asking if we needed anything else. It's pretty disruptive! We had to smile and nod with our mouths full. It was completely unlike their experiences in busy, noisy Chinese restaurants, where you flag down servers and call out with what you need.

Although all agreed that the food was amazing, my parents really preferred the boisterous experience of Chinese restaurants, where they are free to talk and laugh and chew without being interrupted.

Culture clash, indeed.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | March 21, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: ethicquette, Food, Vinnie Yuen

The Shahs of Sunset | Is ANY Publicity better than Bad Publicity for Iranians?

By Mehran Najafi

"Khaak tuu saram," my mother uttered as I was showing her the preview from Bravo's new hit TV series The Shahs of Sunset. Now, for my non-Persian readers, khaak tuu saram is a Persian maxim that literally means "dirt to my head". But then, as literal translations of these things usually don't get us anywhere, Iranians use this saying in moments that often involve feelings of sheer disappointment, surprise, disenchantment, and even a hint of regret. The best English rendition that pops into my head is something along the lines of "Oh my f***" or "God, just come down and kill me right now."

Either way, ladies and gentlemen, as my own mother iterated, khaak tu saram is a perfectly acceptable reaction to Ryan Seacrest's latest TV reality show genius. The show, which premiered this past Sunday, cashed in on 1.1 million viewers and is hoping to follow the remarkable success of Ryan's other mega reality hit Keeping up with the Kardashians.

The Shahs of Sunset follows the lives of six Iranian-Americans, all who are from families that escaped the Iranian revolution in 1979 and are now running amok in Beverly Hills with unimaginable hoards of wealth hoping to live up to the 'American Dream.'

And they do just that!

The launch of the show has generated much anguish in many Iranian circles. There are multiple petitions circulating these communities hoping "to end The Shahs of Sunset and other such racist, exploiting television programming." The common thread that runs through all this discontent is the nonsensical degree of stereotyping that the show promotes of Iranians. Critics feel that the show leaves its Iranian, and non-Iranian viewers alike, with not even an ounce of self-respect or dignity that distinguishes Iranian culture and heritage. It is fictitious, it is horribly demeaning and more importantly, it stands as a huge slap to the Iran-versus-the-world political charade that dictates our news these days.

But then there are those who say no publicity is bad publicity. One advocate of the show (and also one of its main characters), Mike Shouhed, turns the blame around and argues that all haters of his show are just "100 percent jealous [because] they aren't on the show." He continues to say that The Shahs of Sunset must be celebrated for its humanization of the Iranian people during such jittery political times. Moreover, it presents a tolerable (and I use this word very loosely) face for 'the Iranian', which in its weird way resists mainstream media's antagonization and demonization of people of Middle Eastern descent. After all, can a single reality show really change the national psyche of a whole nation for the worse?

Well for your hypothetical everyday American citizen, who is rather impartial and indifferent but more importantly impressionable, it becomes even more difficult to conceive of worthy mental representations of 'an Iranian' in their mind..."so, are these guys crazed religious zealots trying to get their hands on juicy nukes to obliterate our world? Or are they just flashy yet pitiful little replicas of Beverly Hills' finest icons drenched in their own acts of melodrama and self-worship?"

A lose-lose situation if you are an Iranian living in a space that shows both of the images above. The inconvenient truth is that most of us Iranians fall right in the middle of this whole crappy spectrum. And by the looks of it our place isn't entertaining or profitable enough for people like Seacrest to spend millions to base a whole show around us.

Don't be appalled my fellow reader. If anything, I believe that The Shahs of Sunset isn't even depicting the Persian culture to begin with. But instead it is a real magnified slice of our TV life—a place where rampant consumerism and materialism are weaving the DNA of our popular culture, one TV show at a time.

***
Mehran Najafi is a 5th year student, patching up his expertise in International Development studies in the University of British Columbia. He aspires to be a groovy writer, photographer, thinker, conspirator and DJ. Oddly enough, he likes to introduce himself as the meditative space that sits above the hyphen in 'Iranian-Canadian', but is frequently disappointed, as the people around him like to think otherwise. On his free time, he plays, laughs, spins, twirls, and jumps, up and down, down and up, round and round from one day to the next.

Posted by Mehran Najafi | March 17, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Controversy, Iran, Mehran Najafi, Television

VWIFF 2012 | Hopes, Dreams & Schemes

By Gayatri Bajpai

The second instalment of my Vancouver Women in Film Festival reviews is in! Read on for my thoughts on the shorts I saw under the Hopes, Dreams & Schemes section on Sunday afternoon.

The cinematic styles and stories of the selected films varied as much as the personalities of the filmmakers who came up to the front to talk about their work after. But seeing a group of such invested and enthusiastic women, some balancing families and multiple commitments with demanding work, was truly inspiring. Kudos to the organizers of VWIFF for making this wonderful event happen.

Le Jeu de Soldats
Dir: Lorne Hiltser

This film was easily one of my top three favourites at the Vancouver Women in Film Festival. Antoine, a young French boy, is left behind with his mother and grandfather when his father goes to fight at the Maginot Line during the Second World War. The child's 'unhealthy' obsession with war takes over. His grandfather, himself a World War I veteran, nurtures it, while his mother strictly prohibits Antoine's play that centers round the family canon. Little Antoine is rebellious, continuing his games with the encouragement of a Napoleon of his imagination. Play and real-life war intertwine to shake Antoine and his mother into understanding each other.

A beautifully filmed short, Le Jeu de Soldats paints a picture of a nook where whimsy and creativity flourish during grim times. The relationship between the grandfather and the little boy, in particular, makes for warm comedy. Antoine's mother, as a local reminder of all that is serious beyond their little world, could be better fleshed out, but the audience is brought round to her point of view by the end of the film. All in all, a well-made gem of a film.

Hip Hop Mom
Dir: Mina Shum

Surely an audience favourite, Hip Hop Mom is a heck of a lot of fun. Two moms try drawing up into the same parking spot and the conflict brings out their badass sides in a thrilling dance off. Director Mina Shum later said it was inspired by a decision to take hip hop classes in her 40s. She took her sister, and the instructor was very impressed with the latter's fierceness on the dance floor. Normally her sister is mild-mannered, from what I gleaned. Shum thought up a film that would bring out mothers' personalities outside of their motherly duties. I actually didn't catch this one because I was late to the screenings, but I found it online later and kicked myself. It would've been awesome on the big screen!

The Perfect Vacuum
Dir: Alana Cymerman

Mona is a singer who left her unidentified country when war broke out, and swore off singing in the process. Now keeping a silence, she entertains three colourful characters in her apartment building who need companionship, lonely in their neuroses. But in the meanwhile, Monica stands to lose herself to them.

Whacky, fast-moving and funny, The Perfect Vacuum gets away with its quirks. Dialogue has been dropped in favour of purposely cheesy narration. It's a great example of a stylistically daring film hitting the mark.

Kiyumi's Poetry and Sayuru's Embroidery
Dir: Satoru Sugita

Speaking of style and daring, here's the one that absolutely takes the cake for breaking all the rules. It is very slow moving, there is barely any dialogue, and the the site of action is altogether removed from where one would expect to watch a relationship between two school girls unfold itself, but that is why Kiyumi's Poetry works so well.

The story is about two young Japanese girls who have a very specific relationship. Kiyumi is the leader of the two, the one who knows why girls' bicycle seats get stolen and how they must protect their own. Sayuru is the less informed, the less adept, having only one thing over Kiyumi: she can drink coffee.

The two spend all their time together, Kiyumi writing poetry no one can read, using pencil crayons and paper that are the same colour. Sayuru embroiders. They barely talk, but suddenly their relationship undergoes seismic changes when Kiyumi steals Sayuru's spectacles. Each starts seeing herself and the other in a new light.

Slow-moving as the film was, I remained on the edge of my seat for its conclusion, and I was well-rewarded with intense drama. It was refreshing to see a film that took two young girls' friendship so seriously, exposing its subtleties without making light of them.

Fitting
Dir: Larry Ziegelman

A bridesmaid stumbles into the wrong changing room only to discover a woman she knew at college trying on her wedding dress. As the two get to talking it is easy to see that the bride-to-be grates on the bridesmaid just as she did in college.

The two get to swapping stories of life since college, leaving the bridesmaid feeling inadequate. The bride-to-be is marrying an exciting man and has traveled the world. The bridesmaid still lives with a boyfriend who won't propose and works at the same publishing house. The two women joust a little bit, but share a human moment when one caves and spills her insecurities, knowing little the other one is not telling her everything there is to know about her.

This is a great film. The actors keep tension and comic relief coming in equal parts. As one of the actors revealed afterwards, she and the other lead brainstormed the idea while working together at a Meisner workshop. Their creative alignment as performers serves up well-acted and nuanced scenes.

Dance of the Little Old Men; The Heist
Dir: Kulchera Matson

A shot of horse riders galloping into the distance on a breathtaking desert-like landscape set the bar high for the rest of this short. And its cinematography consistently met the mark.

The main action takes place at a traditional Mexican dance. A beautiful dancer catches the eye of a macho cowboy, but the audience has another thing coming if it suspects he will be the hunter, and she the prey. Suffice it to say the little old men and the dancer have each others' backs.

The director for this movie found inspiration in a calendar that featured a photo of the traditional Mexican dance, and another one of elegant Mexican warrior women. The two put together make for a fun, empowering film.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | March 17, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Film, Film Festival, Gayatri Bajpai, Women, Women in Film Festival

WTF Friday | Woman Addicted to Smelling Doll Head

By Vinnie Yuen and Jocelyn Gan

Okay, I admit to being addicted to Tim Hortons' roll up the rim contest (2 cups a day? Been there). But this lady's obsession definitely tops mine.

Jezebel.com wrote about the recent episode of My Strange Addictions on TLC, introducing me to Lacey, a 24-year-old woman who loves sniffing her disembodied doll head.

"It kinna smells like marshmallows," Lacey said.

She takes it everywhere, to get her hair done, to cook in the kitchen, and even during those intimate moments with her fiance.

Yep, you read that right. She'd look back to check if he was looking, and then take a quick whiff.

But what really brings on the creeps, is the mangled eye this doll sports. For one thing, dolls are creepy. Add a deformed eye, and that takes it to the next level. Nothing screams "I'm going to kill you in your sleep with a steak knife" than a one-eyed doll. Something tells me that I am going to be up all night.

On a more positive note, someone commented in the article, "well if she can be engaged, maybe there's hope for me?" Engaged? My faith in the male race suddenly brightens a tad bit.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | March 16, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Jocelyn Gan, Vinnie Yuen, WTF Fridays

Top 10 Bollywood Movies So Far in 2012 (and some to look forward to)

By Gayatri Bajpai

The following are my selection of most exciting trailers and best-reviewed on the internet. Feel free to add, diss, or argue for critical faults in plot lines and item numbers (translation: song 'n' dance bits). I've done my best to include trailers with English subtitles, for those of you who are unfortunate non-Hindi-speakers.

1.Kahaani

Star Vidya Balan became the talk of the town last year when she publicly defended her decision to be explicitly sexual while playing South Indian siren Silk Smitha in The Dirty Picture. The film was a hit. Now she takes on the role of a pregnant woman searching for her missing husband in Kolkata, while everyone she encounters seems to doubt his very existence. A very different sort of film, but Balan has proven her broad range as an actress. Just the trailer had my pulse racing a little. Perhaps because it seems to promise the film won't be punctuated with item numbers.

2.Agneepath

This film is a remake of a 1990s Bollywood movie about a man returning to his village to avenge his father's death. Sanjay Dutt, more famous in recent years for his comic roles, plays the villain in the current version. The 'hero' is Hrithik Roshan, who by all accounts carries the film. Watch it for gore, melodrama, and really, really bad guys. Amongst all the tame rom-com stuff that's aping Hollywood these days, in Bombay, this one looks like a solid Indian serving of violent action-packed melodrama.

3.London, Paris, New York

Speaking of Bollywood aping the West, the storyline of this one reminds me a lot of One Day, a film that follows the friendship of a girl and boy over some 15 years, only showing one day per year of their lives. In London, Paris, New York two friends meet in each of the aforementioned cities, and get a step closer to romance. The guy is a rich kid studying film, the girl is a sweet, nerdy politics student. The success of the film will depend on the confidence and chemistry between the relative newbies.

4.Paan Singh Tomar

Touted as having a lot more substance than the lightweight stuff coming out of Bollywood (See London, Paris, New York above), this one is a biopic of a star athlete-turned-bandit. Irrfan Khan, who plays the title character, is one heck of an actor, and according to video comments on the internet, he does not disappoint.

5.Gali Gali Chor Hai

A politically inspired comedy, this one follows a theatre actor, who stars in plays about Hindu deities, through his run-ins with corruption. Perfectly timed to release shortly after the Anna Hazare movement of 2011, Gali Gali looks like it could be really funny and subtle, on the condition that the filmmakers stay consistent, and don't try to twist the last half into anything too dramatic, as some Bollywood directors have been known to do.

6.Ek Main Aur Ek Tu

Boasting two of the biggest stars in Bollywood right now, Kareena Kapoor, and Imran Khan (no longer just Aamir Khan's nephew), this film looks to be a sleek, more mature romantic comedy by Bollywood standards. Reminiscent of What Happens in Vegas, mostly because it follows an identical core plot—the two actually get married in Vegas while drunk—it tells the story of a mismatch between Kareena's character, a smart-ass hair dresser, and Imran's, a tight-assed architect. They are attempting to get divorced. Who will charm who first?

7.Ek Deewana Tha

I would watch this one solely for the man-meat that is Prateik Babbar. Newbie Amy Jackson is also rather gorgeous, and apparently is not remotely Indian, but has had a rather successful foray into the world of Malayali language cinema. Ek Deewana is her Bollywood debut in this film. Beyond the beauty of the two stars, I have absolutely nothing to say about the quality of the movie. I can't guarantee they act well, or that there is much of an original story (I suspect not), but sometimes (eye) candy is good for your health.

8.Agent Vinod

As far as I can tell from the trailer, Agent Vinod is about a man who refuses to reveal his identity (saying who he is would kinda be inimical to being a secret agent, so not very impressive). However, real life lovers Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor, pair up for this one, which could make for natural chemistry. The film looks sleek. Hopefully it's got a story to match.

9.Talaash

Talaash is set to release late this year, so not much information on it has been put out there. But I'm already looking forward to seeing the work of a female director in Bollywood. The psychological thriller is Reema Kagti's second project as a director and star-studded with Aamir Khan, Rani Mukherjee and Kareena Kapoor (she's everywhere) in the lead roles. All IMDB says is '[a] cop, a housewife and a prostitute get entangled in a mystery that links their lives in unexpected ways.' Pretty sure bits of it are filmed in the Red Light district of Bombay, with Kapoor playing the prostitute (for the second time in her career), and parts in the famous Leopold Cafe that was attacked by terrorists in 2008.

10.Shanghai

Shanghai, one of the largest populations of the world and a status of a rising global power. What else do India and China have in common? According to China News Center, lead actor Abhay Deol, who usually plays director Dibakar Banerjee's 'black sheep' is going to portray a cold Indian middle-class character who 'clings on to his patriotic belief that India has to take over China one day.' Now those be fighting words.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | March 16, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Film, Gayatri Bajpai, India, Schema's Top 10, South Asian

3.11 Good Luck | One year after Japan's 9.0 Earthquake

By Ada Lee

March 11, 2012 marks the one year anniversary of the devastating 9.0 magnitude earthquake that hit the shore of Japan. The earthquake quickly escalated into a triple disaster—tsunami ensued, and the floods destabilized nuclear plants, creating one of the biggest nuclear crisis of the century.

Memorials took place all over Japan this week for the 16,000 lives that were taken and the 3,000 that are still missing. On Sunday, Japanese Emperor Akihito led the public and stood for a moment of silence at precisely 2:46pm to remember the exact time when the earthquake struck 60 miles off the shore of north-eastern Japan a year ago.

I remember with sobering ease of the broadcasts on the disaster, of how the ocean seemed to engulfed the coastal towns in one swift lava-like motion. These apocalyptic clips showed ships hurled on shore and houses disappearing into the muck of rubble and water. The level of destruction seemed unfathomable.

The photos of Miyagi, Fukushima, and Iwate prefecture show the reality of living in the aftermath of a major devastation. 12 months later, more than 340,000 people are still living in temporary homes; only 6% of the 22.5 million tons of debris has been cleared, and the reconstruction process has stalled and is hardly progressing due to bureaucratic red-tape. Even without politics, the path to recovery in disaster zones is already set to be a lengthy one due to its high cost, at around $235 billion dollars.

But the people's battle with the invisible enemy of radiation may be an even longer one.

Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Plant became the heart of the disaster, when cooling systems failed and the nuclear reactors reached dangerously high temperatures. For months on end people all over the world prayed not only for the victims but also in fear of the encroaching possibility of a complete nuclear meltdown. Friends and family booked the next planes out of Japan; My grandmother in Hong Kong frantically urged us to stock up on salt, as the urban legend at the time was that salt helped prevent radiation sickness.

Yet for the residents who are still living in the prefecture of Fukushima, fear of radiation has not subsided with fewer press coverage and continues to be a prominent everyday theme that they must live with.

The now-closed plant still leaks radiation at a much reduced rate, but the accumulation of contaminated food and water builds up within the body. Time can only tell how strong the effects will be on the human body. The haunting shadows of the cancer and birth defects hang over residents in Fukushima prefecture. The government has only given the most optimistic scenarios of the radioactive situation to avoid mass panic, but this has left residents with uncertainty and dwindling confidence towards authority.

Be that as it may, many of the residents have stayed behind and will endure difficult conditions in the hopes of regaining their normal lives.

This particular candle-lit image left with me a sense of pure optimism. Google Translate tells me that the Japanese character shown in the picture is for blessing, good luck, and happiness, and I, too, hope that survivors of March 11, 2011 be blessed with happiness and good luck from now on.

***
Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Ada Lee | March 13, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, Environment, Japan

Confessions of the Other Woman | Theatre Review

By Genie MacLeod

In the wake of the Vancouver Playhouse Theatre Company's announcement over the weekend that their show will no longer go on, it seems a good time to take stock of the state of the arts in this town. When the BC government released their budget a few weeks back, the Alliance for Arts and Culture responded by pointing out that the proposed multi-year freeze on arts spending will mean that BC remains dead last in per capita arts funding. In the face of such unstable times for the arts, it is inspiring and encouraging to see companies and organizations supporting each other through patronage and residency programs, like the recent partnership between Burnaby's Shadbolt Centre for the Arts, and Vancouver-based theatre companies urban ink productions, Visceral Visions, and the late Playhouse, making it one of the company's final productions. Let's hope that with its dying breath, the Playhouse can give life to these up-and-coming companies as they forge ahead in Vancouver's arts scene.

That being said, the fruit of this union wasn't quite ripe for the picking when Schema Coeditor-in-chief Beth Hong and I attended the preview two weeks ago.

Despite its title, Confessions of the Other Woman, the debut play from Vancouver-based actor Valerie Sing Turner, contains relatively few confessions. There are rants and raves, accusations and arguments, diatribes of self-justification and righteous indignation, but we must wait until one of the last scenes before we get any kind of redemptive revelations out of any of the characters. Moving backwards and forwards in time and even across boundaries between this world and the next, Confessions tells the story of divorced Eve (Turner) and married Sam (Kevin Loring), who meet while acting in Shakespeare's Henry IV and begin an affair that forces them both to reassess their views of marriage, morality, and their own character and integrity. Matt Ward plays Derrick, Eve's former husband of eleven years, Poh-Poh, Eve's dead grandmother, and a supporting dancer-cum-trickster figure who quotes Persian poets.

The show mixes traditional theatrical conventions with video projections, poetry, and a lot of dancing. These elements are combined to particularly good effect in one scene where Eve literally steps into the role of femme fatale: In the middle of a monologue denying her powers of seduction, Eve steps into her high heels and begins a passionate three person tango with the male actors, and all her denials instantly melt away.

The set and sound design was beautifully simple and effective: large screens were wheeled around the stage, literally and metaphorically uniting and separating the lovers; projections of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers and other MGM greats highlighted Eve's childhood belief that "love was a big splashy American musical." Unfortunately, they also highlighted the comparatively weaker dancing chops of Loring and Turner.

Loring and Turner had a quiet chemistry, but neither seemed entirely comfortable in the role of romantic lead. While Loring's energy was well suited to the over-the-top Tina, Eve's best friend, the characterization was overdone. Loring wasn't in full drag—a scarf casually thrown about his neck indicated the temporary gender change—but his performance as Tina felt like a caricature.

Matt Ward gave the strongest performance as Poh-Poh, Derrick, and the Dancer. No matter what role he was in he brought an entrancing physicality to the stage that outshone the principal players. Unlike Loring's Tina, Ward's performance as gender and race-bending performance as Eve's first generation Chinese immigrant grandmother was subtle and sincere. The most poignant scene in the play was the confession, not from Eve, but from Poh-Poh, whose admission of wanting to forsake dignity, honour, and integrity to abandon her family when her difficult marriage became too much to bear provided the inspiration Eve needed to face her own struggles.

Turner's script ventures into some intriguing territory—particularly Sam's rants about the etymology of adultery and marriage as a fascist state, whereby spouses maintain societal order by policing each others actions. The play mercifully steers clear of an ending that is too saccharine or too condemning, yet it didn't dig as deep as I'd hoped it would. Confessions of the Other Woman struck me as an intriguing, if somewhat unpolished, effort from a novice playwright, and I look forward to future collaborations between these groups as the artists continue to grow.

Confessions of the Other Woman runs from March 13 to 17 at Evergreen Cultural Centre in Coquitlam.

Links of interest:
Petition to save The Vancouver Playhouse Theatre Company

***
Genie is a managing editor for Schema Magazine and self-appointed seeker-out of Schema-worthy events in Vancouver. She is a certified bookworm with a special fondness for Shakespeare and CanLit. You can follow her on Twitter @geniemak.

Posted by Genie MacLeod | March 14, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Genie Macleod, Theatre

VWIFF 2012 | Films from the Yukon

By Gayatri Bajpai

I got passes to the short film sections of the Women in Film and Television Festival that hit Vancouver on the 8th of March and wrapped up on the 11th. Read on for reviews of my picks from the Saturday showcase of shorts from the Yukon.

Soft Spoken
Dir: Aubyn O' Grady

A young bespectacled man who grew up spending all his time at a piano has rarely ventured out into the world. In Soft Spoken he takes it upon himself to learn to ride a bicycle. He puts his wheels to the icy roads of Dawson City with a little help from his friend, Logan, and hilarity ensues.

Little touches like the fast-forwarded Charlie Chaplinesque antics he unintentionally performs on the bike add to the appeal of this short 'n' sweet underdog tale. Afterwards, the protagonist recounts the experience with Logan strumming a guitar in the background to set the mood.

Soft Spoken won both the 'People's Choice' and 'Best Film' awards at the 48-Hour Film Project contest in 2011, hardly surprising considering its shy guy's endearing personality. A simple, but well told 'day-in-the-life'.

Aydaygooay
Dir: Mary Code

This innovative short combines animation and live footage of caribou grazing in the wilderness to tell the story of how these animals came to fear humans, in the lore of the Sayisi Dene. As told by the director's father, the story winds its way from the playful meddling of young women who spot and brand caribou, to their subsequent disappearance and rescue by a young man of the same tribe.

The semi-transparent human figures drawn on top of the live footage lend the film a mythical quality to match its narrative. The result is magical transportation to another world, and a poetic record and preservation of oral history.

Time Lines
Dir: Suzanne Crocker

Time Lines is a hand-drawn animation that tells a different story about each of the sets of lines on an old woman's face. The wrinkles dance around on the page and rearrange into images of defining moments in her life. Graduation. Her parents' deaths leaving her all alone. The births of her children.

By taking the saying about wrinkles and life experience literally, the artist/director tells a poignant tale that left a sizable lump in my throat. Almost as impressive was finding out the sheer industry it required: 2000 pieces of (recycled) paper!

Our Changing Homelands, Our Changing Lives
Dir: Arthur Mercredi

Narrated by a young man called Yumi Mercredi, this documentary tells the story of how global warming is affecting the Crow Flats of the Yukon. Yumi's people, the Vuntut Gwitchin First Nation, make their livelihood off of caribou meat and fishing. But climate change is depleting their natural resources and upsetting caribou migrating patterns.

A hard look at the challenges that present themselves one hunting season, Our Changing Homelands is a call to action. It is urgent and heartfelt, from the site of a change that Yumi warns will come to you next.

We visit the 'second-largest wetland' in all of North America, and see before and after pictures of a 20 km lake that dried up in the span of one day, once an important location for the Mercredis' caribou hunting.

As Yumi's elders have always emphasized, a connection to the land is of paramount importance to their people. But with a changing land, it is no longer enough. Even the people's survival skills that have been passed down through the generations have not prepared them for a situation of so little 'food security' and a flurry of other problems, though some have turned to agriculture and rearing animals on their own land. The people of Old Crow have a lesson for the world: take only what you need and no more, or else the earth will take something you will miss sorely.

Where the urgency of the situation is cause enough to get melodramatic, Our Changing Homelands instead calls your attention to practicalities. And does so without pretense. A refreshing, clear-headed, but beautifully filmed message, and a portrait of a beloved land.

The Romance of Helen Trent
Dir:Trina Buhler

Also made for the Dawson 48 Hour Film Project, The Romance of Helen Trent is a one-woman performance of a dramatic love quadrangle, lip-synced to recordings from the radio show of the same name.

Trina Buhler, director and star, performs the roles of two men and two women with pizzazz, twirling her own whiskers, playing coy, and seducing various disguised versions of herself on split screen. She nails the archetypal roles with perfect comedic timing and keeps the audience in giggles.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | March 14, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Gayatri Bajpai, Women, Women in Film Festival

Lego Space Shuttle | Tribute to the End of an Era

By Kait Bolongaro

When the Atlantis landed from its mission in July 2011, it marked the end of an era in space exploration. Later that year, on August 31, NASA ended its thirty-year Space Shuttle Program. Space adventurers from all over the world were sad to see a program that has captivated the imaginations of generations come to an end.

Although NASA space shuttle voyages are officially history, the dream of space exploration lives on. Romanian Raul Oaida built a Lego space shuttle to send on its own mission. The shuttle, no bigger than a shoe, didn't do so bad, reaching a reported altitude of 35,000 metres with the help of a helium balloon. He also attached a GPS system. After take off from Germany, Oaida followed the craft by car until the GPS could no longer track it. It landed about 240 kilometres away.

In another ingenious move, Oaida attached a video camera to his shuttle to document its voyage. He then created a four-minute video accompanied by Radical Face's "Welcome Home". The clip was posted the video to Youtube one week ago and so far has had over half a million hits.

This is quite an amazing feat and will inspire people throughout the world to try their own space shuttle launches. Endeavors like these really serve as a testament to the human imagination and our desire to learn more about our universe.

I remember the first time I went to the planetarium in Vancouver as a child and how exciting it was to look at all the stars in the sky. The idea of being an astronaut captivated me as a child. I wonder what the effect of the end of the Space Shuttle program will have on future generations. Space is so vast and we have only touched the tip of the iceberg in our knowledge of it. With people like Oaida, space shuttle launches will only continue, albeit in a pint sized form.

Posted by Kait Bolongaro | March 15, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Design, Kait Bolongaro

Sex Ed Delays Sex, Study Found

By Vinnie Yuen

Teens who learn about sex in school wait longer to have sex and are more likely to be smart about contraception, according to recent research by The Guttmacher Institute.

The study used data from the 2006 to 2008 National Survey of Family Growth and researchers questioned 4,691 15 to 24-year-olds if they had education in "how to say no to sex" and in "methods of birth control".

There is no evidence that sex education encourages teens to have sex sooner or to take more sexual risks. This might come as a shock to conservatives everywhere.

Of the students who had any type of sex ed, 77 percent of women and 78 percent of men had sex before they turned 20. For those with no sexual instruction, the numbers jumped to 86 percent for women and 88 percent for men.

Students who had sex education were more likely to use contraception when they first have sex. They're more likely to have "healthier partnerships", being less likely to lose their virginity to someone more than three years older or younger than themselves.

Of course, to some parents, any sexual relationship is unhealthy before marriage.

I honestly think that the reluctance to talk about sex with teenagers comes from fear—the fear of picturing young people as sexual human beings with sexual feelings and desire. It's important to teach about sex in school, because we cannot guarantee that family members or parents will give their children any sexual instruction at all.

What scares me is that some families can be so conservative, that sexual activity can cause extreme turbulence within the household. I have a friend who fought with her parents for over a year when they discovered her birth control. She was 21.

So my question is, when can we introduce sex education for parents?

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | March 14, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Relationship, Sex, Vinnie Yuen

Insecure Technology | Will Egypt's Tracing of Protestors Through Their Mobiles Become the Norm?

By Codi Hauka

Ever experienced that ensuing panic that occurs when you forgot your cell phone somewhere? Even if you haven't lost it, just forgetting it at home when you're out for the day leaves you feeling naked, until you and your mobile device are reunited. Some people might think this is a sad fact of modernity, and maybe they're right. But from a pragmatic standpoint, many of us would agree that our phones are extremely important. Why do we feel this way? Because these days smart phones hold so much of our lives within them.

Our phones contain anything from Solitaire to important emails, calendars, appointments, grocery lists, sentimental (or private adult) photos, to thousands of other applications that keep track of your weight or even how active your sex life is. In other words, today's cell phones serve as more than a device through which to call or text people. They're really intuitive, high tech, expensive diaries of our lives.

In the wake of the Arab Spring, the international contagion of Occupy Wall Street, and economic turmoil that has taken the world by storm, smart phones have played an instrumental part in globalizing the voice of protest and effectively shortening the temporal news gap that once existed in journalism.

Phones were an integral part of communicating Egyptian's unrest during this period, as they have been in many public demonstrations in the past few years. Yet this avenue for communication came under fire when Vodafone (a British based company that owns 40% of Verizon Wireless) claimed that Egypt's government forced access to communications data that would identify those involved in the protests and ultimately lead to their arrest.

Government regulation over things that concern our private activities always stirs the fire, unless of course it facilitates the spread of Scarlett Johansson in the buff. But as the world changes its avenues of communication at unprecedented rates, so too must our laws and views of how those avenues are governed.

Canada recently experienced similar throes of frustration over user privacy with Vic Toews' proposed Bill C 30, which was met with less than favourable results for both Toews and the Conservative Party. The paper trail for our activities has changed, and we take for granted just how insecure mobile phones are, and how susceptible our private information may be. I mean, auto correct alone has left me with enough embarrassing text messages to interest the government in what I do in my spare time.

The growing number of people using data on their phones now demands growing networks to keep up with the pace, lest millions be left without service. As our mobile devices become used for more than just talking, we have to expect governments to adapt and push back. Remember the feeling of when Wikipedia shut down in protest of the proposed SOPA legislation? Or even that hot feeling in the back of your head when you're underground and your phone is out of service? Maybe the one thing worse than forgetting your phone is having such a powerful tool in your hands but knowing you can't use it. It's a feeling of helplessness, and with the amount of important information stored on our phones these days, it's important to remember just how vulnerable these technologies really are. Scarlett found out the hard way.

***
Codi Hauka is a fifth year International Relations student with a minor in History at the University of British Columbia, and a connoisseur of pies. She aspires to become a journalist, or, failing that, the heir to the Colbert Report. You can follow Codi's work at The Magpie, a fake news blog she coordinates with an esteemed colleague and friend. The website is in the midst of a facelift, so please forgive its current 1990s level of visual appeal.

Posted by Codi Hauka | March 12, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Codi Hauka, Technology

Linsanity, One Month Later | "Whatever happened to Jeremy Lin?"

By Allan Pulga

"Whatever happened to Jeremy Lin?" a buddy of mine tweeted yesterday afternoon.

"The stars came back, and ironically they stopped winning. Story got old. Was bound to," I tweeted in reply.

The stars in question are Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire. "They" who stopped winning are the Knicks. And after today's loss to the Philadelphia 76ers, the Knicks have lost five straight.

The reason my buddy is wondering what happened to Jeremy Lin is because just over a month ago, on Feb. 4, Lin propelled himself into the NBA stratosphere with a breakout performance in a win over the New Jersey Nets. Lin finished the game with 25 points, 5 rebounds and 7 assists.

The Knicks were 8-15 prior to that win. Anthony left that game with a strained groin after playing just over 5 minutes. Stoudemire missed four games from Feb. 6-11, mourning the death of his brother. From Feb. 4-23, throughout Anthony's and Stoudemire's hiatuses, Jeremy Lin went from being an obscure bench player to an NBA superstar—scoring 38 points in a win over Kobe and the Lakers, hitting a game winner over the Raptors, averaging 24 and 9 in his first 10 starts, and adorning the cover of SI on back-to-back weeks. He was the toast of New York City.

From Feb. 4-15, the Knicks won 7 straight behind Lin And by Feb. 23, they were 9-2 in their last 11. Linsanity had reached its zenith.

Then, on Feb. 23, they were sent crashing back to reality. They were trounced 102-88 by the Miami Heat and left licking their wounds through the All-Star break. Since coming back from the break, they beat the lowly Cleveland Cavaliers (who boast a 16-23 record) and proceeded to lose 5 straight.

The Knicks are now 18-23. As I said in my tweet reply, the story was bound to get old. There's no way Jeremy Lin could average 24 and 9 forever (he's averaged 15 and 7, and 4 turnovers, in the last 7 games). And there's no way the New York Knicks would take their winning streak past 7 games. NBA scouting reports are better than that.

And the Knicks—although they bonded together and started playing better team basketball within head coach Mike D'Antoni's offensive scheme, with center Tyson Chandler's defensive leadership and behind Lin's famous string of outstanding performances—are still the Knicks. (Last season, the Knicks finished 6th in the Eastern Conference with a 42-40 record).

So perhaps the question shouldn't be: "What happened to Jeremy Lin?" There's nothing more to be said about Lin. We know he was cut by two other NBA teams this season. We know he was on a temporary contract with the Knicks and living on his brother's couch before he broke through. We know he was born in the U.S. of Taiwanese parents. And we know he graduated from Harvard an undrafted standout point guard.

The question should be: "What happened to the Knicks?"

"The Knicks might have hoped to catch the Atlantic Division leaders (76ers) at one point but now are simply hoping to hold onto a playoff spot after entering play just two games ahead of the Milwaukee Bucks and Cleveland Cavaliers," wrote Brian Mahoney of The Associated Press today.

The Knicks' previous two losses were in the absence of "defensive anchor" Tyson Chandler, Mahoney added, having yielded 118 points to the San Antonio Spurs and 119 points to the Bucks on Friday night.

"It's not only the defensive effort," Mahoney wrote, "Coach Mike D'Antoni concedes the intensity just isn't always there with his team, saying the Knicks sometimes get 'lost' or 'sidetracked.'"

Most importantly, Mahoney acknowledges that the Knicks simply haven't figured out how to win with the reinsertions of Anthony, Stoudemire and back-up point guard Baron Davis, as well as the addition of controversial swingman J.R. Smith, into the lineup: "Lin has been solid but couldn't be expected to sustain his sensational level of play, and the Knicks are still unable to settle on their best rotation with a much deeper roster than they had."

The Madison Square Garden crowd could be heard booing Anthony during today's game and a brief "Fire D'Antoni" chant broke out in the final minutes, followed by some loud boos near the finish", Mahoney wrote.

It appears as Knicks fans aren't getting the wins they have come to expect, they're looking for a scapegoat on whom they can pin this losing streak. Right now, it's not Lin. Most of the negative focus is on either D'Antoni or Anthony. The most obvious concerns are defense, a lack of intensity and, perhaps most importantly, figuring out how the D'Antoni System (made famous in Phoenix and documented in Jack McCallum's 2006 book, 07 Seconds or Less) and the franchise player (Anthony) can coexist to produce wins.

The Linsanity story depends on the Knicks' success. For now, it seems, the Linsanity story has been put on hold.

***
Allan is Schema's J-Lin correspondent and a lifelong basketball fan. He lives in Vancouver and is incessantly taking photos of his food. And his sneakers. You can follow him on Twitter @poonisms.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 11, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Asian American, Sports

KONY 2012 FEVER | A Hit or Miss for Uganda's Woes?

By Mehran Najafi

I plead guilty. Along with millions of my fellow Facebook/Twitter brothers and sisters, I too shared the 'Kony 2012' video on my facebook wall the other day. When you think about it, most of us started our week not knowing who the heck Joseph Kony was, what the list of our world's most wanted men looked like, or what the 'Invisible Children' project was all about. The name 'Uganda' didn't arouse much in our heads and, if anything, it reminded us how conveniently we had packaged and stuffed 'Uganda', along with every other African nation, in the dusty 'Africa box' in our mental closet. Crazy poverty, unending civil war, complicating internal socio-political tensions and funky coloured soccer teams; I mean that's what Africa was and probably still is for an average Joe walking down the street, right? Well, now lets add this to the mix. Read up.

In 2003, three young filmmaker dudes from San Diego decide to embark on a journey to Africa, in a quest to 'find' a story, a narrative, a niche that could be documented and brought back and shared with the West. After originally targeting to go to Darfur, they go astray and find themselves in one of Africa's longest running armed feuds (since 1987) in Northern Uganda.

Long story short, they make a documentary and establish a non-profit NGO, both titled the 'Invisible Children'. From that time onwards, they fully devote themselves to bringing the big spotlight on one man and one only: bogeyman Joseph Kony! The man who is the mastermind behind the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) which is responsible for the mutilation, abduction, rape, and employment of over 66,000 children as soldiers.

So, to follow suit, they have just recently launched a KONY 2012 campaign that aims to make Joseph Kony famous, so famous that it would lead to his immediate arrest or death. By unleashing a savvy 30-minute video out onto the cyber world just over four days ago, they have managed to rack up over 50 million views on Youtube (and Vimeo), over 4 million dollars in donations and have received full support from big names such as Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, Jay Z, P. Diddy, and Lady Gaga!

But wait a minute. Hold on. This just all sounds too Disney and too easy be true. Where's the loose screw? Well if you must ask, there has been a recent barrage of criticism by a group of skeptical intellectuals, journalists, activists, and bloggers alike. The criticisms have come from all sides and angles, all shapes and forms, but a few of them really stand out:

1) Simplicity—The movie painfully oversimplifies the Ugandan narrative in a fashion that a four year old can fathom. Joseph Kony is a bad man. There is not a single doubt about that. However, the sole demonization of Kony and the one-line solution that Jason Russell presents to us is extremely naive. The film follows a "good versus evil" formula that is often seen in Hollywood blockbusters. And moreover, it heavily resonates a "white man's burden" mentality that generates a clear colonial dichotomy of a 'helper' and a 'helpless'. This not only belittles local efforts in attempting to resist these rebellious groups, but also implies that Invisible Children's campaign sides with a local inefficient, corrupt and fraudulent government.

2) High Expenditures—The organization's Audited Financial Report for the 2011 fiscal year shows the company had expenses close to $9,000,000. However, sadly enough only 32% of that money appears to have been spent on direct services to Uganda. True, their main function is to raise awareness but how can you spend almost $6,000,000 on video production, traveling, team salaries, and whatever else you needed to make a 30-minute video clip and some?

3) Kony is a symptom of the problem—Lets suppose that big daddy Kony is arrested and rightfully punished by the iron fist of international law. Then what? Is the notoriously corrupt Ugandan government going to exonerate itself of all its sins and employ supernatural powers that would suddenly eradicate child suffering in Uganda once and for all? Will regional poverty be alleviated to a point that security can be stored to save children from such grim destinies? Or will the fires of these civil tensions instantly burn out due to the arrest of one guy? No, no, and no.

So, what can we conclude out all this mumbo jumbo? These filmmakers must be held accountable for their convenient manufacturing of 'Uganda' into a little neat user-friendly package, ready for mass consumption. However, they must be praised for their ability to mobilize millions within a 30-minute video that has managed to dazzle each one of us in its own way. Sure, their way is not perfect but tell me: when was the last time you managed to get 50 million views on your Youtube channel in a matter 4 days?

After all, I deem that the more these guys succeed, the more we fail as a generation, in proving ourselves that in order for us to give a single damn about your cause, you better manipulate us with something BIG (i.e spend millions on your video recruiting political sponsorship, and creating massive celebrity buzz) and, of course, have a skewed enough story so all of us can agree on.

***
Mehran Najafi is a 5th year student, patching up his expertise in International Development studies in the University of British Columbia. He aspires to be a groovy writer, photographer, thinker, conspirator and DJ. Oddly enough, he likes to introduce himself as the meditative space that sits above the hyphen in 'Iranian-Canadian', but is frequently disappointed, as the people around him like to think otherwise. On his free time, he plays, laughs, spins, twirls, and jumps, up and down, down and up, round and round from one day to the next.

Posted by Mehran Najafi | March 9, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Africa, Documentary, Mehran Najafi

Calling all Hip Hop Writers | Schema Wants You!

By Shima Ghailan & Gayatri Bajpai

Photos: www.sweetlyrics.com

Schema Magazine is on the lookout for talented young hip hop lovers (and critics...it's ok to be both) with a flair for the written word to match their idols' gift of the gab. They rap it, they sing it. You write about it.

We are looking for writers to cover local hip hop/spoken word events and write reviews of up-and-coming artists' work, as well as conduct interviews. Think you fit the bill? Read on for the deets.

Qualifications:

• Needs to be familiar with hip hop lingo and culture
• Ideally, be an avid follower of the hip hop or spoken word scene
• Familiar with local artists, or know people who are, i.e. have a network
• Familiar with the underground hip hop scene. Think Immortal Technique for hip hop, and Saul Williams for spoken word.

On the writing style in particular:

• Ideally, you'd be able to incorporate the hip hop 'feel' into your work. Hip hop and the spoken word is all about storytelling: bring that to your own work to best engage with the reader.
• Free-style hip hop contains controversial elements: you must not be afraid to be opinionated. Check out our writer Shima Ghailan's piece that called out Kanye West and Jay-Z: "No One Wants Your Fish Fillet, Kanye..".

Benefits:

• Build your own writing portfolio and get published.
• Gain hands-on experience working in the online publishing industry.
• Networking and working with a great team of like-minded individuals
• Gain feedback on your writing and experience in developing your personal voice.

If you meet most of the above criteria, or even if you just know your hip hop well, but haven't written about it much yet, send us a 500-word piece on one hip hop artist or topic that interests you by the 24th of March to submit@schemamag.ca. Include your cover letter in your application.

Please note that successful applicants will undergo a probationary period (i.e. write two solid pieces) before they are considered to be regular Schema contributors.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | March 8, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Gayatri Bajpai, Music, Shima Ghailan

Through the Eyes of a Child | Hideaki Hamada and his Adorable Sons

By Kayo Homma-Komori

First off, let me begin by saying that I hope one day in the future (the very distant future) I will have children this cute. And document them as beautifully as Hideaki Hamada has done, and only in their most angelic moments. Note to self: Start sharpening those photography skills...

Hideaki Hamada's beautifully serene photographs of his two boys, Haru and Mina, capture the innocence and curiosity of a child in a way that words just wouldn't do justice. Think back, way way back, to when you were child. You may not have been as cute as Haru and Mina, but I'm sure you can certainly relate to their curiosity and wonder at the world surrounding them. Everything seems new and fresh, and almost nothing is taken for granted.

Hamada's series of photographs captures this child-like curiosity and wonder and allows the viewer to see the world through the eyes of a child. When was the last time a kid lying on the floor or jumping off a ledge looked this special? Hamada freezes these everyday moments that most of us might take for granted and urges us to take a second to appreciate them.

Not only are these photographs earning Hamada international recognition (they were recently on exhibit in Kaoshuing, Taiwan, and will be travelling to Taipei, Lithuania and Singapore) but they will be a great time capsule to share with the boys as they grow older!

Visit http://hal.petit.cc/ to check out more of Hamada's photographs.

Posted by Kayo Homma-Komori | March 8, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Japan, Kayo Homma-Komori, Photography

WTF Friday | Crazed Man Stealing Women's Underwear Right Beneath Them—Literally

By Jocelyn Gan

My first question is what is this guy on? Acid? Speed? Coke? Meth? Mushrooms? My second question is what kind of underwear is he after? Granny panties? G-strings? Thongs? I need to know these things. A man high on acid that steals g-strings, I can understand. But a man tripping on a bad meth high stealing granny panties, that I can't wrap my head around. Actually, a granny panty fetish isn't something I can understand—nor do I ever want to attempt at understanding. I love my grandma, but I like to picture her fully clothed. Call me crazy.

I'd go into more detail about this crime (yes, it's called stealing) but there really isn't anything else I can say. On more than one occasion I have either worn my underpants inside out or backwards. This dude can rip them off a ladies body and get away with it!

What's really unsettling about this is the fact that there is a guy violating women in such a perverse manner. I may watch too many episodes of Criminal Minds, but what starts out as something small, always snowballs into something much bigger. I'm not a psychiatrist, but this guy has serious issues. And those issues should be dealt with behind bars.

So what's next crazy underwear stealer? Hopefully a pair of handcuffs will find their way to you.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 9, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Japan, Jocelyn Gan, WTF Fridays

Swizz Beatz To Bring K-Pop to (Mainstream) US

By Ada Lee

Big-time music producer/rapper Swizz Beatz (who's also the hubby of the amazing Alicia Keys) spent some time in Seoul, Korea a few weeks ago and announced in a press conference his intentions to bring K-pop into the United States. He tells MTV News that his goal is to bridge the gaps and build outlets for k-pop artists for them to break through in the US.

But he's not just going to be another will.i.am or Kanye West, who have worked in collaboration with K-Pop musicians.

"It's not about me being a feature or just producing K-Pop music; it's about migrating musical cultures around the world," says Swizz Beatz. "And I just felt like starting with K-Pop, starting in Asia and opening up different outlets to something cool and new."

By signing on a new deal between his company and South Korea's O & Media entertainment company, each company will help promote international artists in their respective markets. What Swizz Beatz is getting at is that he wants to be the new ambassador for introducing already existing K-pop music into mainstream.

I don't need to be a big K-pop fan to feel the buzz of excitement this is going to bring. Not because I think K-pop needs any real introduction in the youth population of the US—there aren't many people around anymore who haven't heard at least one K-pop song. But because it's nice to see Asian pop music finally having the means and local support to break into the mainstream West, without being a sub-genre that can only maintain itself within Asian-American/Canadian or niche circles.

K-pop has it all going on already: the funky styles, slick dance moves, flashy music videos, and catchy pop beats. There is so much glitter and glamour with k-pop that really gels well with the North American ideals of celebrity. Then you throw in the fact that a lot of the groups are multi-lingual and multi-cultural, and get constant training as an artist. I mean, half of these Disney pop genre kids in the videos are getting on with the program already.

It took J-Pop forever to break into the American scene, and still it's hasn't found itself a steady second home. Swizzy, make sure you walk the talk and make it happen. We'll be watching out for musical magic happening soon—some Rihanna x Kara, Big Bang x Nicki Minaj, and 2NE1 x Jay-Z, for starters?

***
Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Ada Lee | March 6, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, America, Korea, Music

Is PETA an Animal Rights Defender or Animal Exterminator?

By Kait Bolongaro

Around the world, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is one of the best-known animal rights groups. The organization's bold campaigns against fur feature nude celebrities such as Pamela Andersen and the slogan "I would rather go naked than wear fur", and the group continuously fights against animal testing, cruelty, and boycotts companies who mistreat animals. PETA sounds like an animal lover's paradise; however, looks can be deceiving.

PETA's animal rescue agency has recently come under fire. Although PETA stages animal rescues from farms and pet shops, more than 85% of the animals rescued are euthanized. This issue first came to public attention in 2008 when the Center for Consumer Freedom petitioned Virginia's Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services (VDACS) to have PETA reclassified as a "slaughterhouse." The numbers of animals killed is staggering: in 2011, of the 1,992 animals surrendered only 24 were adopted. The other 1,911 were killed. What's worse? This is only in Virginia, a small state. Imagine what the total number across North America is.

For a group that touts itself as the largest animal rights group in the world, that is unacceptable. PETA has over 3 million members worldwide, the majority of them animal lovers. I highly doubt they would be happy to learn what PETA is really doing. This is even worse because I am certain that some people surrender their pets to PETA, having faith that they will be adopted and not euthanized by an organization that claims to protect animals. In a sense, this is a complete breach of trust. I understand that the animals are being abandoned, but it is ridiculous to euthanize them unless they are suffering from a terminal illness.

I am outright furious with PETA. I have been a vegetarian since I was 12 years old; part of my conversion was through a PETA campaign against eating animals. I swore off meat and signed up as a member of PETA. I stuck their stickers around my school and encouraged my friends to abandon their flesh eating ways. I have always had faith in PETA but no more. If I ever have to surrender a pet, it will be to a no kill shelter because I don't want innocent animal blood on my hands.

Posted by Kait Bolongaro | March 8, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Activism, Controversy, Kait Bolongaro

2 Broke Girls Don't Make A Wong

By Allan Lee

2 Broke Girls, the new hit comedy from CBS is almost finished its first season, with the season finale scheduled for airing sometime in May. The show has done very well for the network, with its lowest rated episode averaging 10.8 million viewers. However, the show comes with much criticism, with many calling it outright racist, especially with the character Han, who is definitely a step back in the portrayal of Asian characters in mainstream media.

Created by Michael Patrick King (Sex and the City) and Whitney Cummings (Whitney) the show stars Kat Dennings and recent newcomer Beth Behrs. The actresses play two servers at a diner in Willamsburg, New York. Max (Dennings) comes from a poor working-class background, while Caroline (Behrs) was rich, but her family's fortune was lost when her father is caught operating a ponzi scheme. The two quickly become unlikely friends and share a dream of owning a cupcake shop. Each episode ends with how much the two girls earned and how much they still need to reach their goal of $250,000.

The diner is where the majority of the comedy takes place, and while this is not exactly an original location for a sitcom, its essentially a neutral place where new characters can be introduced and a variety of comedic situations can occur. Three more characters at the diner round out the rest of the cast: Garret Morris plays Earl, the 'jive-talking, street smart' cashier of the diner; Jonathan Kite plays Oleg, the Eastern European stereotype cook; and finally Matthew Moy plays Han, the owner of the diner. Its these three side characters that have faced the brunt of the criticism, especially Han, who is essentially a mish-mash of bad Asian stereotypes.

For fun let's go through a little racial checklist:

1) Poor English: Check.
2) Homogenous Asian (Every Asian looking person is the same. Han is Korean? I'll take your word for it): Check
3) Sexual ambiguity/mocking of male prowess: Check.
4) Jokes about height and size: Check.
5) Asian does/knows martial arts: Nope. Too bad, this one would have been the most interesting one.
6) And, to top it off, bad jokes about penis sizes: Check.

Another and far more disturbing aspect to 2 Broke Girls is the apathetic nature and justification for all this lazy, offensive comedy despite the criticism from a variety of television critics and bloggers. King has vehemently defended the show, saying its humour has an 'edge' to it and is based on 'extreme wit.' Clearly its not an accident that Han and the other characters at the diner are portrayed in such a pathetic way and unfortunately for the shows many critics, 2 Broke Girls has found a substantial audience which the network will easily parlay into 3-4 more seasons.

To the substantial audience, I ask this: Why do you watch this show? Is this a guilty pleasure? Who is this show generally trying to appeal to? 13 million people can't all be racist, right?

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 7, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Allan Lee, Asian Stereotypes, Racism, Television

Mystery Tree Sculptures Not So Mysterious

By Jocelyn Gan

Move aside ice sculptures and make room for your much cooler and more vibrant cousin tree sculptures. This art form seems to be making a big splash over in jolly ol' England at the moment. Tree sculptor Tommy Craggs is pulling a Bansky-like (minus the identity part, of course) stunt in Knaresborough, North Yorkshire.

For the past few weeks, Craggs has been transforming tree trunks into larger than life works of art. And I mean monumental in size. From mystical creatures, to animals, to human forms, and even Yoda, Craggs yields a chainsaw unlike no other!

I'm a bit at awe as to how in the world he manages to carve such intricate details into his work with a chainsaw. I normally would associate using a chainsaw to hack away at something, turn an object into something ugly and broken, but it looks as if Craggs can take a violent tool and use it to make beautiful and gasp worthy creations.

***
Jocelyn Gan is a graduate of English and Communications from SFU. She loves all animals, but her heart is cat shaped. She hopes to release her cat fashion line in the near future.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 5, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Art, Jocelyn Gan

Top 10 Things Asian Moms Ask About Your Boyfriend

By Vinnie Yuen

I have one. My friends have one. Here are the top ten things Asian moms ask about our boyfriends, from my personal experience. Unfortunately, they're often not satisfied with the answers.

1) "Is he a doctor/lawyer/accountant?"
The preferred professions of Asian mothers.

2) "Why is he still in school?"
More than four years to finish his Bachelors degree and you've got some explaining to do, in which case, hopefully, the answer to question #1 is "yes".

3) "Does he know Chinese (or insert your language)?"
They assume he does if he has the nerve to date you.

4) "What do his parents do?"
Finding out about the future in-laws.

5) "Why is he so fat/skinny?"
You're always either too fat or too skinny. Eat more! Eat less!

6) "What does he eat?"
'Cause you know he'll need to come over for dinner some time and we can't serve him something he can't eat.

7) "How come you guys don't eat at home? He doesn't like my cooking?"
He better eat everything in sight.

8) "Why doesn't he pay?"
Patriarchy is alive and well.

9) "Why do you see him so much?"
I've heard that once a month is the recommended number of times you should hang out with your boyfriend.

10) "Why don't you date [insert name of her friend]'s son?"
Because I already have a boyfriend.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | March 7, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Asian Stereotypes, Relationship, Vinnie Yuen

Standing Up For Equality | Judge Won't Perform Straight Marriages

By Codi Hauka

Equality. What does it mean to you? It's a term brought up more and more in a context of combined cultures, sexual orientations, and values, presented as something objectively defined above and beyond us. Yet in reality, what constitutes as equal differs greatly among between people and places, and existing disparities only seem to be expanding as society moves forward in all other walks of life. Laws are meant to be immutable truths that guarantee our rights as citizens, but are they really all that equal? How are we supposed to reach a state of equality when we can't converge on what equality even means?

America has garnered a reputation as a country of equal opportunity, upholding an empty idea of the attainable "American Dream." There are numerous examples of how fictitious these national stereotypes are, but perhaps the one receiving the most media attention these days, especially in light of the ongoing Republican candidacy race, is gay rights. Marriage is one of the biggest issues surrounding this topic, and Dallas County Judge Tonya Parker has taken a bold position in response to the prohibition of same-sex marriage in her state of Texas.

Parker, an openly gay African-American female (now that's hitting a lot of discriminatory red flags), is refusing to marry straight couples until Texas allows gay marriages as well. Stating that continuing to perform marriages for straight people would be hypocritical and an unequal application of the law, Parker informs couples of her reasons for not wedding them and passes them off to another judge.

It would seem (hopefully) that prohibiting same-sex marriage is a clear example of inequality. But only a handful of states permit this and are met with waves of backlash every time, which have in some instances led to a reversal of laws. Proposition 8, anybody?

Canada, often hailed as a safe-ground for gay couples to travel to in order to wed, came under fire recently for an embarrassing oversight in same-sex rights which effectively negated all of the marriages it performed for international gay couples. Even Ellen Degeneres, one of the most recognized and well-loved gay media figures, received a huge amount of complaints for her recent partnership with J.C .Penny. Clearly, equality is still very much a subjective term for many.

I know that there are a number of basic rights that are not met in affluent and third-world countries at any given point, including things like access to food and shelter, things we truly need to survive. But there's just something so disturbing to me about effectively denying someone the recognition of their love for another person. Laws are changed and revised all the time. They are not so much unquestionable rules but a reflection of a society's values at a certain point in time—the Civil Rights Movement is an obvious reminder of such a sentiment. Let's hope that society soon realizes that the time for change is once again at hand.

***
Codi Hauka is a fifth year International Relations student with a minor in History at the University of British Columbia, and a connoisseur of pies. She aspires to become a journalist, or, failing that, the heir to the Colbert Report. You can follow Codi's work at The Magpie, a fake news blog she coordinates with an esteemed colleague and friend. The website is in the midst of a facelift, so please forgive its current 1990s level of visual appeal.

Posted by Codi Hauka | March 5, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Codi Hauka, Gay Rights

A Soulful Voice Transcending Cultures | Yuna & Pharrell Make Music

By Shima Ghailan

I can't remember the last time I heard a young artist with a soulful voice and thought to myself, "Wow. I can totally connect with this song". Until I heard Yuna.

Yuna Zarai, a Malaysian-Muslim, began her music career at the age of 19. While in law school, she picked up the guitar and that's when her talent began manifesting into the musical career she has today. While she won titles at different Malaysian music award shows, her music transcended her native country all the way to North America. Radio shows in New York called her voice "flawless" and Russell Simmons said she is "an amazing new singer". That was just the beginning.

Singer and producer Pharrell Williams was introduced to Yuna and they shortly began collaborating. He produced her latest released song "Live Your Life" which is a soothing melody, indie rock, folk blend with lyrics that send the message of finding yourself and staying true to it. She did just that.

But to me it was more than her unique voice. She is a representation of the continuous breaking of societal norms and stereotypes. The fusion between these two worlds is exactly what reminds me that while we differ as cultures, backgrounds, and ethnicities, the similarities we share can create beautiful things.

This powerful juxtaposition of what she appears to represent and the industry she's involved in challenges so many notions in the pop culture scene. Fiercely rocking the veil and serenading people, Yuna is giving people a shock to their eyes and ears. While I know some people wouldn't be surprised by Yuna, having some rethink their preconceived notions is aces in my books.

Not only is she relatable to different generations, she is a great role model for younger girls and boys. A female figure in the mainstream music scene that's not highly sexualized is exactly what we need nowadays. She can belt out a note or two without showing off a set of something.

You know how they say music is the universal language? Touché.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 1, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ethnic Cool, Music, Pop Culture, Race, Shima Ghailan

The ISLAMIZATION of Hollywood | Oliver Stone's Son Converts to Islam in Iran

By Mehran Najafi

Bill O'Reilly: "But look, when you have a guy like Ahmadinejad. You said you met him for a little while. When he makes a public pronouncement that the Holocaust never happened, that if he could he'd drive the Israelis into the sea, you know, you're dealing with a guy who is an extremist. He's a fanatic."

Sean Ali Stone: "...There's no room for Holocaust denial, of course. I would never agree with that, but I just think that it's simple -- it's simplistic to stay that he is fanatic. When you talk with these people -- you know, the point is to have a dialogue about Israel in this region. Because..."

Bill O'Reilly's loud obnoxious voice overrides Sean from speaking, again. That was just a slice of how things went down during the O'Reilly Factor, one of America's most watched programs on Fox News Channel. So, what's all this about?

Well, let me tall ya. Once upon a time there were two little self-indulgent kids on the block.

On the one hand, there was America! At times of such spiritual dejection and moral robbery in their land, American media found its perfect bait. One of their very own citizens, of their own flesh and blood, a member of one of the most notorious families in the country, a humble visionary just out on a trip in the hopes of making a documentary about a Persian poet, has been fenced in, manipulated, and coaxed into fully selling his soul to the voodoos of Islam! Alert! How could we have let him slip through our big greasy claws? Who, in their righteous state of western un-dogmatic mind, would submit themselves to such foreign nonsense? O M G, America. This calls for a serious media crusade against this dude.

And on the other hand, there was Iran! Likewise for them, and almost every other country in the world right now, economic and political hardships have continued to rattle the country's morale. But, wait a minute. Sean Stone, an American, a celebrity (or at least the offspring of a big one), and an ambitious filmmaker has decided to convert to Shiite Islam on Valentine's Day! It seems that Sean Christopher Ali Stone is an angel sent from the heavens above. He is the perfect fit and yes, lets frame him as an American poster child, who came to his spiritual senses and quenched his life-long wait for an existential enlightenment on our soil.

But wait! There is more. And then there came a miraculous third hand, which was the...well none of the above! Why is it that we just can't lend a single ear to a guy like this, reflect upon his experience, his objectives, and his rational reasons for taking such a step? But no, it would be way easier to turn him into puppet for our own self-serving ends. Lets just shove him into the same basket as Julia Robert's embracing of Hinduism, Richard Gere's conversion to Buddhism, or Madonna's abandoning of Catholicism for Kabbalah.

Its no surprise that politics is the game of manipulation, but I, for once, want to break that nauseating habit and celebrate Sean Stone's transformation into Sean Ali Stone as a spiritual accomplishment, a break of our stingy personal judgments, and a step closer to a more wholesome global understanding.

This time, I want him to speak:

"I didn't realize I would be so vilified. It is almost like I am a criminal for having accepted Islam. I didn't realize Islamophobia was that deep. People have speculated that I have done this because I am from a spoiled family or that I am lost and trying to find myself. That is ridiculous...I don't care if I get criticized. If I can open up a debate about religion and create some understanding, then it is worth it."

***

Mehran Najafi is a 5th year student, patching up his expertise in International Development studies in the University of British Columbia. He aspires to be a groovy writer, photographer, thinker, conspirator and DJ. Oddly enough, he likes to introduce himself as the meditative space that sits above the hyphen in 'Iranian-Canadian', but is frequently disappointed, as the people around him like to think otherwise. On his free time, he plays, laughs, spins, twirls, and jumps, up and down, down and up, round and round from one day to the next.

Posted by Mehran Najafi | March 2, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: America, Iran, Mehran Najafi

WTF Friday | Woman Born a Hermaphrodite, Raised as Boy

By Jocelyn Gan

I consider myself to be a pretty lucky gal. I've never struggled with my sexuality, nor did I ever have any questions about my gender. Sure, I've had issues with my identity and insecurities that come along with being a teenager. But that was the extent of it. So I can't even begin to phantom how fucked up Caroline Kinsey felt when her parents finally decided to tell her she was born a hermaphrodite, 19 years after her birth, and when she was known as Carl.

My initial reaction was to blame the parents and the doctor—"[her parents] went with the doctors' advice because they didn't know any better". But it was the late 1960s, and I am sure Kinsey's parents did not know how to deal with such a hush-hush situation. Were they embarrassed? Were they confused? Were they in shock? Probably a bit of everything, and then some.

At age 41 Caroline is finally living the life she has come to identify with. She may have come to this conclusion years earlier if she had known about her condition when she was younger, but hey, it's never too late. I can't help but feel admiration for her bravery, because I am sure its taken a lot of courage to come forward with her story.

***
Jocelyn Gan is a graduate of English and Communications from SFU. She loves all animals, but her heart is cat shaped. She hopes to release her cat fashion line in the near future.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | March 2, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Gender, Identity, Jocelyn Gan, Sexuality, WTF Fridays

2012 Oscar Highlights | An International Sweep

By Michelle Pham

This year at the Academy Awards, the international presence was unmistakable. Oscar-winning director Michel Hazanavicius' accent was a stark contrast to what most viewers heard on a day to day basis. At one point, a few of my friends had to stop to decipher his speech because of the heavy French accent. The Parisian boy on my floor was ecstatic that the French swept the awards.

The Artist is the most awarded French film to date, and Jean Dujardin, who won Best Actor for the film, is the first French actor to be graced with the prestigious title. With America's coveted foxes George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Gary Oldman competing against Dujardin, it was a pleasant surprise for the French when Dujardin took home the sleek trophy.

Pakistan's first Oscar nod was validated when Obaid-Chinoy's documentary short film Saving Face received an Oscar. The documentary, featured on Schema a few weeks ago, focuses on Dr. Jawad's work in Pakistan as he travels around the country to reconstruct the faces of acid burn survivors. The film delves into the empowerment of Pakistani women and the gross injustices that many brides and young girls face.

A Seperation, Iran's Oscar winner, sent Israelis into theaters to see the film that shut out their country's entry at the Academy Awards. The film followed a tumultuous marriage set in nationalist terms by Iranian authorities amidst a tense environment between Israel and its Western allies over Tehran's disputed nuclear program.

Congratulations to all! Have a look at some of the films that were short-listed for an Oscar. They are a guaranteed good watch!

Posted by Michelle Pham | March 4, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Events, Film, International, Media, Michelle Pham, Politics, Television

The "Fin" of Shark Fin | New York State Next to Ban

By Kayo Homma-Komori

New York appears to be the next American state joining the battle against shark fin soup, issuing a bill that could ban the sale, trading, possession and distribution by 2013 of the ever-so-controversial Chinese delicacy.

Traditionally served at Chinese wedding banquets and celebrations, shark fin soup is regarded as a status symbol, often thought to be the ultimate reflection of a host's wealth. With Chinese grocery stores pushing the delicacy for anywhere from $100 to $500 per pound, it's no wonder why Chinese families would be quick to add shark fin soup to their next banquet's menu.

It's estimated that about 73 million sharks are killed each year for their fins, and sometimes their fins alone. Fishermen have been reported as throwing the fin-less sharks back in the ocean to die. Some shark species have almost been fished to extinction.

Yes, these are harsh, cruel realities. Being an outsider, it's easy for me to think, "What's the controversy? This is obviously a crime!" But wait. There's always two sides to a story.

The delicacy is believed to bring good luck and wealth, and has been served for centuries. Centuries. In a culture where tradition plays a fairly significant role (so I'm told), banning a delicacy that has been around for centuries can only mean one thing: somebody's going to get hurt.

And indeed, people will be hurt. Namely, restaurants and older generations who have grown up eating shark fin soup at Chinese banquet halls. It seems that the younger generation doesn't quite feel the same attachment to the dish, and would rather see sharks saved than tradition maintained for the sake of it. Even Chinese NBA star Yao Ming is on board, supporting conservation group Wild Aid in both Asia and North America. But let's make it official—can we get a J. Lin endorsement too?

New York is the major East Coast importer of shark fins. With the whole West Coast already on board (California, Hawaii, Oregon and Washington already passed bans last year), and the pending ban in New York State, it's looking like Chinese banquet halls will need to find the perfect shark fin substitute.

What's your take? Can we balance the old with the new? Tradition with sustainability? Is it even possible?

Posted by Kayo Homma-Komori | March 1, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Controversy, Culture, Food, Kayo Homma-Komori

This page contains all entries posted to Schema Magazine's Blog, "Daily Dose" in March 2012. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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