Schema Magazine

Sex Ed 101 | What Did Your Family Say When You Asked?

Do you remember asking your family members about sex? I do.\n\nAs a young child, probably at the age of six or seven, I asked my pregnant aunt during a family dinner at my grandma's house, \"When do people get pregnant?\" I thought maybe people just reach a certain age and then a baby starts growing inside of you. My mom said it was inappropriate that I asked the question, and I got no answers from anyone.\n\nI remember hearing the word \"condom\" in Cantonese in a movie when I was nine years old (in Cantonese it translates directly to \"safety cover\") and so I repeatedly asked my sister and my family, \"What's a condom?\" Nobody answered me. My sister and cousin told me to stop asking the question. I could sense everyone was becoming uncomfortable.\n\nSex became something that I could never talk to my parents or relatives about as a teenager and young adult. After all, they had refused to answer my questions before when I was a child—so why would they be open to discussing things when I was older? \n\nAside the obvious \"don't do it until you're married\" warning, the discussions stopped there. I had to find answers all on my own, do my own research, never asking anyone. \n\nI often wonder if things would have been different if someone I trusted or loved had taught me those things. Instead, I learned from the pages of Seventeen and what other teenagers posted on forums on the internet.