Schema Magazine

Top 10 List of Broken New Year's Resolutions

It happens every year. The New Year looms and people compulsively feel the need to alter their lifestyle. Most of us have done it despite the overwhelming evidence that our resolutions go unfulfilled. For whatever reason, the Near Year instills us with a feeling of empowerment, and the belief that we will succeed in living up to our goals. Then as the months progress, we realize how foolish we were to once again think we could meet such achievements, only to settle back into our old ways. It's both a familiar and unfamiliar feeling every year. And so in honor of this ridiculous tradition, I present Schema's Top 10 List of broken New Year's Resolutions in the hopes that we break the pattern of making these silly promises.

10. Drink less Starbucks
Alright, this might sound odd, but drinking less is a pretty common broken resolution, and in most cases it normally has to do with alcohol. Here in Vancouver, however, it's clear by the amount of mermaid emblazoned cups toted around on a daily basis that we have a real addiction in this city for over-priced novelty coffees. What is it that compels us to spend $5 to get our daily caffeine fix? Does Starbucks put crack in their brew? Is our need to satisfy our desire to be trendy? At any rate, this is a promise Vancouverites aren't going to keep anytime soon.

9. Get a new hobby
Some people think about taking up knitting or maybe collecting stamps, but what's the point? Some people might feel the need to add to their experiences and knowledge, or just think that taking up a new activity will improve their overall self. I for one can attest to the falsity of such a notion, having attempted at one point to take up the hobby of following all of Bob Ross' painting videos, and failing horribly. The lesson here: quit while you're ahead.

8. Watching less TV
We might not all be guilty of this one, but there is an overall theme of either doing more or less of something. Maybe it's not the television that you need to spend less time in front of, but the computer, less time devoted to the Internet, or decreasing your Facebook creeping for a while. I for one watch way too much Food Network - way too much. But I enjoy watching way too much of it, and that's why this is a resolution that will always end up broken.

7. Spend less money on unnecessary items
We are surrounded by novel and yet totally unnecessary things in today's grab and go lifestyle. Those little figurines you attach to your cell phone, disposable razors (ouch), and pretty much anything you can buy at Forever 21. They either fall apart or don't contribute anything substantial to our lives, yet they remain so enticing and we keep coming back for more. I'm just a sucker for flavored lip chap.

6. Ordering less takeout
Sure, there are plenty of easy and fast meals you could make at home, but a lot of us like to leave that kind of work to the pros (you know, the kind of pros that some of us watch for hours on the Food Network). Plus, there's a simple comfort in having someone else cook for you, even if it is a calorie whopping gut bomb. You might tell yourself you're going to lay off the take-out, but don't lie, you know the number to your favorite Chinese place better than your mom's home phone.

5. Going on a diet
This one goes hand-in-hand with ordering less take-out, as our desire to improve our overall diet and general wellbeing drives us to make crazy commitments to foods that we utterly detest. If you deprive your body of things it craves then you're just going to crash hard, gorge on disgusting amounts of food, and you might even end up getting Diabetes like Paula Deen. Whoa, that escalated quickly. Don't let it happen to you.

4. Quit Smoking
This is a pretty popular resolution to make and break. My mom has been making it for the past twenty years to no avail - once she even bought one of those fake cigarettes that actually lights up and produces smoke. I'm going to assume that she got it confused with a real one and thought she was putting in a really solid effort. It's sort of expected that you won't keep this resolution, especially here in Vancouver where there's something just as popular as cigarettes to smoke.

3. Go to the gym
This is definitely at the top of most people's resolution list and probably near the top of most broken too. It's also probably one of the easiest to get out of, with excuses like "I don't have the time," or "a membership just costs too much," and "I think the guy on the Skymaster is stalking me." Save yourself the sweat and just stop making this resolution.

2. Indulge in less Jersey Shore
Reality TV and gossip magazines in general could create their own category, but with the phenomenon that is Jersey Shore, I thought it deserved its own place. There's just something about Snookie's hairdo, the orange glow of the cast's complexion and seeing broads getting punched in the face that makes it hard to break free from their ridiculous world. If anything, since New Year's resolutions are about self-improvement, watching more Jersey Shore could be a positive thing, since it genuinely makes you feel better about your own life in comparison.

1. Lie less
We all lie, even if it's just a little white one, it still counts. "Oh, sorry professor, I'm missing that assignment from two months ago because I didn't hear you ask us to hand it in". Yeah, it's totally fine for me to have another crème puff, because I walked to the kitchen today. In fact, this resolution is ultimately tied to all of the others because half the time you're lying to yourself about your ability to keep these promises. So let's be honest, actually abide by this one, and stop making these pledges. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Food Network that needs watching.

Sexy Politics | Miss World Canada Nazanin Afshin-Jam ties the knot with Defence Minister Peter MacKay

By Mehran Najafi

Newsflash. Canada's Iranian-born former beauty queen, Nazanin Afshin-Jam, has been asked for her hand in marriage by our very own Defence Minister, Peter MacKay. And who said politicians are boring? Perhaps there hasn't been this much excitement in Canadian news since the time the RCMP was paranoid over soaring theft rates of sex toys and women's panty hose in New Brunswick!

Not to be overly analytical or opportunistic, but could this new found affection between these two love birds usher in a wave of favourable Canadian policy changes towards Iran? Or maybe relax immigration laws for Iranian refugees or immigrants, or perhaps even initiate dialogue with the Iranian government? Or is this just going to be another fling for Canada's sexiest politician? "Astaghforallah! (Meaning 'God forbid' in Persian) Bite your tongue Mehran!" would be my mom's answer to that. Well, if we aren't going to speculate over this whole issue, then what are we to do?

It seems like Peter MacKay's personal life has been making more headlines than his political life. Being named "Canada's Sexiest Male MP" by The Hill Times and "the closest thing to eye candy on the diplomatic circuit" by The New York Times, Peter MacKay is hot stuff, to say the least. His first relationship with then Conservative MP Belinda Stronach ended sourly when she dramatically crossed over the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals in 2005. Then, in 2006, Peter suspiciously started spending a lot of time with the one and only former US secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, though either side never officially confirmed it.

In 2009, Peter announced his engagement with CTV executive, Jana Juginovic. Really exciting but that didn't work out either so, next batter up is former Miss World Canada/pilot/singer/model/activist/executive director/educator and pretty much any other title you can think of, Nazanin Afshin-Jam.

As a fellow graduate of UBC with International Relations and political science degrees under her belt, Nazanin went on to be crowned Miss World Canada and thereafter became a runner-up to Miss World in 2003. Nazanin, alongside her dangerously seductive 'ethnic' look, has also made a big name for herself in the humanitarian world. She is the co-founder of Stop Child Executions, which is a group dedicated to ending capital punishment of children in Iran, and also serves on the board of directors of Canadian Race Relations Foundation.

I can only imagine what their 'pillow-talks' are going to be about: strained Iranian-Canadian relations over the past 30 years? Canada's stance on the potential US proposal calling for an all out war against Iran? The future of Peter's Conservative party in a gloomy Canadian political climate? Or maybe just mere speculations over the potential arrival of a new MacKay?

And I wonder.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 26, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Canada, Events, Iran, Mehran Najafi, Politics

WTF Friday | Face Pillows For the Workaholic

By Jocelyn Gan

There are days when I am at work and I find myself thinking how lovely it would be if I could just take a quick nap to help me power through the rest of my shift. But when I go to put my head down on my desk, I am rudely brought back to reality when the cold, hard surface of the desk greets me. I am startled awake! "Why me" I shout, as I shake my fist at the ceiling, pretending I am having computer troubles as my manager eyes me from his office. If only I had a pillow to rest my weary head upon.

But fear no more Jocelyn—there is an answer to your totally legitimate problem! There is? Yes, there is! (On a side note, I don't normally ask myself rhetorical questions. I do it for the art of drama.) The lovely folks at kawamura-ganjavian, an architecture and design studio, have finally made the dream possible to sleep comfortably at your work desk. Hallelujah!

I introduce to you Ostrich, the pocket pillow for naps. This is hardcore stuff—only extreme nappers can handle the absurdity of this. Ostrich is "neither a pillow nor a cushion, nor a bed, nor a garment, but a bit of each at the same time." Holy mother of all power naps! Garment? Yes! Nothing would thrill me more than having the option of wearing a huge drumstick over my head. No more paper-bags for me—I got high fashion drumstick (eat that Lady Gaga).

What really sells me on this product is how portable it is. I don't need a bag to carry it around. I can just swing it across my shoulder and I am ready to go! Damn, the people at kawamura-ganjavian really thought this one through. I do have one question though: How am I suppose to breathe while my is face smothered in ostrich?

***
Jocelyn Gan is a graduate of English and Communications from SFU. She loves all animals, but her heart is cat shaped. She hopes to release her cat fashion line in the near future.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 27, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Jocelyn Gan, WTF Fridays

Dolce & Gabbana | Photo Ban Controversy In Hong Kong

By Ada Lee

Controversy went off just before Lunar New Year in Hong Kong. Dolce & Gabbana's flagship store in Hong Kong was accused of refusing customers from taking pictures of the store front. Apparently, this was due to a policy to protect intellectual property. The problem was, the photo ban applied only to Hong Kong people, but not the mainland Chinese and foreign patrons.

This incident sparked multiple protests in its Harbour City shopping center flagship store, with up to 1,000 participants, all angrily proclaiming that D&G should "apologize or get out". These Facebook-organized protests forced D&G to close its doors, unable to do business as protesters put up posters and banners.

As the Lunar New Year drew nearer, D&G issued an official apology, stating that they are "truly sorry" to have "offended the citizens of Hong Kong".

To us over here on the other side of the Pacific Ocean, this incident must seem like an overreaction over a few snaps of photos. It is preferential treatment to one group over another. But I don't think I'll be the first one to say that the ban had more to do with discrimination against less wealthy people than cultural groups. D&G didn't want to upset the wealthy mainland and foreign patrons with the money, simple as that.

The inevitable and growing interdependence with Mainland China is seen to many Hong Kong people as a threat to their cultural identity. In the mix of complaints, there are already issues of high housing prices pushed up by newly wealthy mainlanders, and massive numbers of pregnant mainland women going down south to give birth that deplete local maternity ward quotas. This D&G incident seems to be only adding to a whole mountain of cultural tension and uneasiness towards a transforming cultural climate.

This sensitive node was hit once more by a YouTube clip that burst into the net just recently, a few weeks after the D&G incident. The cell-phone video captured a loud argument between local and Mainland Chinese passengers of the metro system in Hong Kong, over the rules of eating in the trains. Read more on this absurd yet revealing dispute here. Read about the even more ridiculously unprofessional response made by a Peking University professor that ignited debates for the past week.

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Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. The list ranges from social justice to astrology. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 26, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, Controversy, Fashion, Hong Kong

Meet The Daily Show's Newest Correspondent

By Kait Bolongaro

Recently, Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart introduced its new correspondent: Jessica Williams, a black female comedienne, and all around funny lady. Williams' first assignment was covering the South Carolina GOP primary. The segment was aired on January 11, and so far it seems to have garnered decent reviews.

The Daily Show is often touted as a liberal alternative to conservative media in the United States; but in the past, it has come under fire for its lack of female employees. The only recurring woman is Samantha Bee, who has been with the show since 2001. Past correspondents and writers have complained about treatment on the show, and the inequality they faced in this comedic boys club. I hope Williams succeeds where other funny women have been fired in favour of playboy bunnies and video game stars.

Despite her stellar performance, I really didn't like the script. It was stereotypical, and didn't do justice to such an accomplished comedienne. Williams plays a hysterical news correspondent, wearing a shirt covered in blood. She screams about the politic mud slinging and 'all the white people' in a thick southern accent. The audience laughs; but is this the only way a black woman can be funny? I hope that her next roles on the show will be more complex and not rely on age-old stereotypes of hysterical black women.

Posted by Kait Bolongaro | January 26, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Comedy, Kait Bolongaro, Television, Women

High Society Nights @ Ginger 62 | This Thursday, Meet DJ Goddess!

By Sadiya Ansari & Gayatri Bajpai

Photos: Article Teaser & Above Photo by Toranj Kayvon

Jessica Dhillon, aka DJ Goddess, kicked off 2012 on a stage with Canadian Chart-topper Raghav at a packed CityTV New Year's Eve bash. She was new to spinning, not performing. But even Dhillon—actress, model, dancer and Hollywood producer—felt the rush that celebrity brings at the Calgary party.

"It was an absolutely amazing experience. It's live and it's nation-wide - it's pretty exciting," says DJ Goddess of her first big gig, which was caught on national TV.

DJ Goddess will be spinning house and Bollywood this Thursday at Ginger 62's Republic of India party hosted by High Society. She also plays electro, top 40, mash-ups and reggaeton.

As we sit down with her at a café one chilly January evening, a casually-dressed and animated DJ Goddess recounts to us how she fast-forwarded through the baby steps; she went from messing around with turntables to DJ-ing at the NYE party within months.

DJ Goddess has certainly garnered a lot of attention early in her career and is often referred to as a "female DJ." Does this ever bother her? DJ Goddess says it never struck her as a problem: it is still uncommon for women to spin.

"When people say 'female DJ' it's because it's more of a rarity," she said. "The reality is that sometimes it does work for your benefit since female DJs are in high demand."

Her stage name, DJ Goddess, was specifically chosen to reflect female empowerment in male-dominated industries.

Photo: D. Dyer

Already a renaissance woman of sorts with a busy producing career that had her shuttling between London, Mumbai, and San Francisco, Dhillon found herself inspired by DJs Risk One and Aqeel. She then got a mutual contact to put her in touch with DJ Lisa Delux.

Delux is a well-known name in the Lower Mainland and has played all over North America. She became DJ Goddess' mentor, teaching her the basics over the span of just a week.

Inspired by her "amazing instructor", DJ Goddess began on vinyl and honed her skills with the help of pros in her already established network that were only a phone call away.

Shortly after, Raghav, whose single 'Top of the World' she helped co-produce the video for, invited her to play at the NYE bash. She had landed the biggest kind of gig a DJ could hope for.

"DJ'ing is something you have to throw yourself into," says DJ Goddess.

She was a nerdy child. She was both studious and athletic, and she cried when she got her first B at university. She decided to work hard, but experimented on the side with hobbies, which got her into acting, dancing, and modeling. DJ-ing was just one more channel for her creative urges.

DJ Goddess describes herself as both artistic and scientifically-minded. Her backup plan was med school. But after skyrocketing to success in various fields of showbiz she never looked back.

Photo: Kim Campbell

As she acknowledges, she started big. She doesn't know where DJ-ing will take her, but her tone is unmistakably determined.

Influences on her style include everything from house to Bollywood to hip hop. This year she is looking forward to making international appearances in Mumbai, London, and Vegas—especially Vegas, where she says the top house DJs spin. Also on her list of ideal venues is the Sunburn Music Festival in Goa, India.

DJ Goddess admits that with success comes sheer exhaustion, especially when she is constantly facing a challenge to prove herself.

"My motto is 'Be Fierce'. I've always worked in male-dominated industries so I think for that reason a girl has to be that much more fierce. There are days when it drains you. It takes so much out of you to prove you're not just a pretty face, to go the extra mile."

But she believes being attractive in showbiz or the music biz is not necessarily a bad thing if you don't misuse it. "In an industry where looks go a long way, a girl has to be that much more fierce and back them up with talent, brains and hard work."

And with that very combination at her disposal, DJ Goddess seems all set to spin up a storm. Don't miss her set on the 26th.

*****
DJ Goddess on Twitter: @iamdjgoddess | Check out her website and download free tracks: www.djgoddess.com | Facebook: DJ Goddess.

*****

Daily Dose will carry an ongoing series of DJ profiles in advance of High Society's Bollywood nights at Ginger 62, held on the last Thursday of every month! You can also find information at highsociety.ca.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | January 24, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Events, Gayatri Bajpai, Music, Sadiya Ansari, South Asian

A Separation | Iranian Film Wins Best Foreign Film at the Golden Globes

By Mehran Najafi

"And the Golden Globe goes to..." deafening silence fills the auditorium as the nominees become fidgety in their seats "...from Iran, A Separation," Madonna reads out loud. As the camera pans over the crowd, some familiar smiling faces become unfamiliar, as the film's two delegates make their way to the stage to accept their award.

Yes, you heard correctly: Iran! It's that big bad bogyman country you often hear about in TV, led by a gang of smirking mullahs dancing their way towards world destruction with the help of their 'under-the-rug' nuclear program. Well, other than knowing how to make the front-page news almost everyday, they also know how to make some good movies.

Asghar Farhadi's A Separation won the best foreign language film in one of world's biggest stages. This comes as a continuation of the film's previous success with winning the Golden Bear at the Berlin Film Festival last year.

True. I plead guilty—I am an Iranian and I see this as a colossal victory. A Separation is a film that stands as a prime example of how vibrant the Iranian art scene has grown to be. But I'm not here to talk about the aesthetically pleasing merits of the film itself as much as its political and social consequences.

Now for a bit of contextualization: Iran, ever since the Islamic revolution in 1979, has been often antagonized on the international stage for its 'un-friendly' foreign policy and nature of governance. With its enormous amount and variety of economic goodies (oil being one of them) and its towering influence in the region, Iran is a country that just can't be ignored. Especially over the past decade, Iran has become a popular political punching bag over its 'unjust' ambitions for a robust nuclear program, which, sadly enough, has resulted in the suffocation of the Iranian people (and not the regime) with waves of strangling economic sanctions.

What does all this have to do with the Golden Globes? Well, I choose to be a dreamer this time and I want to be able to say to the hell with the politics, economics and all the demoralized approaches to this whole mess. Lets talk art. Lets see this win as a birth of a colourful medium in where nothing holds value but that of genuine ideas and inspiring images; a medium that would break this 'Iran Vs. All' dichotomy and further nurture creativity towards more peaceful ends!

To conclude his brief speech up on the podium, director Farhadi concluded by saying: "I just prefer to say something about my people...they are truly peace loving people."

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 24, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Art, Film, Iran, Mehran Najafi

Radical stewardship: remembering Milton Wong

By Joanna Wong. Originally published at davidsuzuki.org

Good friend to Schema Magazine, Joanna Wong, pays tribute to Schema's founding champion Milton Wong, whose memorial took place in Vancouver on Friday January 20, 2012. The following was excerpted from Joanna's piece for the David Suzuki Foundation:

The vibrant life of my Uncle Milton Wong, business leader and philanthropist, [was] celebrated Friday January 20th at a memorial in Vancouver.

Many will remember Milton for his inspiring legacy of social contributions that touched countless hearts and communities across Canada.

I will remember my Uncle for his typically cheeky answer to any new challenge:

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

For Milton, no matter how insurmountable the problem, there was a way to step forward. He loved to grow outrageously big ideas and impossible dreams.

Milton found early success as an investor in finance, but he was more accurately an investor in possibility. From start-ups to new festivals to public projects like Science World, his passion for nourishing innovation was infectious.
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At times, Milton's interests seemed wildly diverse and even unrelated -- the arts, multiculturalism, social justice. But for him, everything was easily unified under one single concept:

Stewardship.

It's a word I first heard as a child, when adults talked about cleaning up streams or protecting salmon. A word for a sign on a forest trail. Wooden and old-fashioned.

But while my Uncle considered himself an environmentalist, stewardship to him wasn't just about protecting the natural world. It was about the deeper well-being of people, culture, and democracy.

Milton's vision of stewardship imagined a radically hopeful planet. Its definition was simple:

Stewardship is the act of caring for that which does not belong to you.

Continue reading on davidsuzuki.org »

Joanna Wong is a principal at FlowCS, a creative studio dedicated to sustainability in China. She is part of the David Suzuki Foundation's Climate Council.

Posted by Alden | January 22, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags:

Could You Be the Next Astronomical Genius?

By Kayo Homma-Komori

Imagine being credited with the discovery of the next planet to support life, the elusive twin Earth. Suddenly, you're catapulted into stardom, reporters knocking at your door daily, paparazzi forever in tow. Okay, maybe such a discovery wouldn't land you in the ranks of Hollywood stardom, but that's how it plays out in my dreams. Don't judge me.

Regardless of what your "planet discovery" dream may be, it could soon become a reality, as Planethunters turns to crowdsourcing to assist in the search of nearby planets that could support life similar to Earth.

Interested volunteers can check out the Planethunters website, where they will find time-lapsed images of 150,000 stars. The website includes tutorials on how to search through the images and what types of signs to look out for that may indicate the presence of other planets.

The images have been taken by the Kepler space telescope, which has been searching space for other stars similar to our Sun since 2009. However, we all know that technology has its glitches, and experts like Chris Lintott from Oxford University believe that humans would be better at spotting irregularities in the stars than a computer.

If you spot a potential planet, and further investigation confirms that planet is significant, you would be credited with the discovery and included in any subsequent research papers on that planet (What? No red carpet? I guess this will do). And if you're thinking that one day you can point out "Planet Michael" to your grandchildren, think again—the planets are named after the stars they orbit.

Since the website's launch last year by an international team of scientists, volunteers have already been credited with the discovery of several planets. Could you be the next planet discoverer?

Posted by Kayo Homma-Komori | January 23, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Kayo Homma-Komori, Technology

Mariko Sakaguchi's Art of Being Private in Public

By Codi Hauka

I used to take baths almost everyday. The tub was a place for just me, where I could temporarily let go of my worries and find comfort in being away from everyone else. The bath is a fairly intimate place, when you think about it, being one of few independent activities in a day that is really time set aside for just you. It even feels weird to write about taking baths because it seems far too personal to share with other people. Japanese photographer Mariko Sakaguchi thinks so too, but has decided to visually and physically share this personal activity with the world.

Her project "One Hundred Views of Bathing" involves carting around a traditional wooden Japanese bathtub for one, then placing it and herself in a scene of private or public life. The pictures include Sakaguchi and her tub in people's bedrooms, crowded office buildings, and even deserted theaters, fully exposed and open to view. I logically deduced that she must have had an urge to conquer a fear of exposure after suffering public nudity nightmares throughout her life, but her art carries far more relevance than that.

In a time where people feel inclined to report every detail of their day through the use of social networking sites, how different is Sakaguchi's actions from the millions of people who post in virtual spaces of interaction? Her work speaks to a level of intimacy that has been lost in today's ability to share extremely private information with total strangers. When a person can get tagged using drugs in a photo or report how many people they hooked up with last night, the idea of where to draw the line between personal and public life has been blurred. This is where Sakaguchi's work places itself, by providing a tangible divide between the two by juxtaposing the intimate activity of bathing within a social context.

While Sakaguchi appears in the midst of people's homes and private activities, neither she nor anyone else in the frame acknowledges the other's existence. She is just there, with everyone in the picture evincing a disposition of normalcy to something that should be seen as the opposite. And this would seem to be the point of her work—that sharing your most personal aspects with everyone has become so pervasive that we don't recognize how odd it really is to do so. Yet it is the visual depiction of this that makes it such a jarring realization, as she purposely places herself in an environment where she can control her vulnerability. It's something that is painfully obvious once brought to your attention, and her art is a beautiful way to consider just how public our personal lives truly have become.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 25, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Art, Codi Hauka, Japan, Photography

Words With Friends | An Unconscious Teaching Vehicle

By Codi Hauka

I love playing Scrabble. I get really into it, probably a little too into it, but I blame it on my competitive nature. That's why I only play Scrabble when I take my annual summer trip to the Okanogan with my family, where the environment becomes laden with accusations of constructing fake words. It's just a little too intense to play on a daily basis, which is why I don't partake in such popular phone applications like Words With Friends, despite my natural talent for forging terms.

Even though I might at times share an Andy Rooney-esque attitude towards technology, you can't ignore how popular phone apps have become. People everywhere are constantly plugged in and connected to the Internet, to people and places, and it has become difficult to imagine a world in which we didn't turn to our mobile devices for distraction or even comfort. It seems impossible to be alone, for even if you are physically by yourself, you remain active within a virtual world. So is this a good or bad thing?

Andy Rooney probably would have sided with "bad," and there are certainly many that would agree, but there's something to be said for the ease at which we can interact with people hundreds of thousands of miles away. It also provides us with the ability to access a wealth of information, sometimes unconsciously. Georgie and Simon Fletcher of Queensland Australia discovered this when Georgie was playing Words With Friends with Beth Leger, a woman from Blue Springs, Missouri.

During a game, Georgie began talking to Beth through the internal chat function—which I would probably use as a space for heated debates over the viability of words—but in this case Georgie claims that the game actually played a part in saving her husband's life. She described Simon's symptoms to Beth, who then relayed this information to her husband, who coincidentally is a doctor. He advised that Simon immediately go to a hospital. It was discovered Simon most likely would have died soon after.

With a massive amount of blockage surrounding his heart, doctors alerted Simon to the severity of his situation and prevented him from suffering a life-threatening heart condition. But how much of this is attributable to Words With Friends? Is it a stretch to say that the game saved Simon's life? Georgie certainly doesn't think so, believing that some stroke of fate brought her and Beth together for this very purpose.

But should we also dismiss the game's part in saving Simon's life? As ridiculous as it might seem to some people, Words With Friends did act as a vehicle for information to reach across continents and people, and ultimately did assist in providing life saving knowledge. This is the unconscious phenomenon of spreading information that exists in today's connected world, and like it or not, it's here and it's amazing.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 23, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Codi Hauka, Technology

Ethnicquette | Eat What You're Given

By Vinnie Yuen

Photo credit: Dimsum.co.uk

I secretly love watching my white boyfriend eat things my Chinese mother shoves at him.

"Eat, eat!" she says.

He's been a picky eater since childhood. In the comfort of his own home, he will shamelessly scoop only the pork out of a pork and vegetable stir-fry.

Our favourite story is when my mother gave him a bowl of Chinese soup with Chinese medicinal herbs. He calls it the "mushroom soup". Apparently he took a sip, wanted to spit it back out, but decided it was better etiquette to drink it all.

Full disclosure: I hate the soup as well. My mom has to skilfully beg and threaten me before I'll down a full bowl of this stuff.

For Chinese New Year, Chinese people like to have a New Year's Eve dinner eaten before the big day. There is a "lucky" dish which involves a black vegetable that looks like hair, and its name sounds like "fortune" and "good happenings". The dish also involves dried oysters and pork.

Photo credit: FriedWontons4u.com

I will never forget the look on his face when I placed a full chopsticks' load of the hairy-looking vegetable on his plate. With his nose scrunched, he ate it.

"I'm not sure what to think," he said. "It's okay."

I know I'm cruel for delighting in this but I think it says something about our relationship. I've turned the pickiest eater ever into someone who is willing to try suspicious-looking foods for the sake of our relationship.

Or he's just really intimidated by my mom.

Either way, it's cool with me.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 25, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Dating, Food, Relationship, Vinnie Yuen

Become a Schema Bookworm!! | Call for Writers

By Schema Magazine

Attention book lovers!

Do you have a voracious appetite for novels? Have you nearly come to blows with your friends and family over some new book that everyone's been talking about? Why not make a (volunteer) career out of it? Why not become a literary critic for Schema Magazine?

In case you're new to Schema, we are a Vancouver-based online magazine that aims to reflect, explore, showcase, and give voice to the most interculturally-minded generation in Canadian history. Established in 2003 as the definitive platform for "ethnic cool," Schema offers a blend of local and international pop-culture, identity politics, and current affairs from the perspective of immigrant, Canadian-born, mixed-race, transnational and culturally-blended Canadians who might just self-identify as "Cultural Navigators." Schema reaches readers across Canada, the U.S., and around the world, connecting those who embrace the rich complexity of cultural identity and see themselves as being "more than ethnic."

Responsibilities:
Under the supervision of the literary editor, you and a team of your fellow literary tastemakers will take turns writing book reviews (500 words max.) for two different literary sections throughout the calendar year. You'll be expected to write 2 to 6 "Books to Buy" reviews (new releases) and 1 to 3 "Books to Borrow" reviews (library picks) per year. For the "Books to Buy" section, you'll be given at least two weeks to read and review a single new publication. For the "Books to Borrow" section, you'll be given at least a month to read and write a single review of three to five classic/top books under a certain theme/genre (e.g. African/Caribbean historical fiction, Aboriginal poetry, Asian Canadian literature, genocide novels, spoken word poetry, gay and lesbian romance, ethnic sci-fi, travelogues, memoirs, graphic novels, etc.). You'll also have a chance to work closely with your literary editor to choose your own "Books to Borrow" theme and show off your taste in books!

Qualifications:

Excellent English and grammar

Confident, opinionated writing style, a unique personal voice

Ability to write a compelling review convincing your audience to read the book(s) under review

Willingness to accept and grow from editorial criticism

Ability to meet deadlines when required

Time wasted in browsing the shelves and search engines of libraries and bookstores is a plus

Benefits:

Build your writing portfolio and get published

Gain hands-on experience of working in the online publishing industry

Networking and working with a great team of like-minded individuals

Gain feedback on your writing and experience in developing your personal voice

Please send your cover letter and resume, along with an original review (400-500 words) of a recently published book to books@schemamag.ca by February 15 2012. And if you really want to knock our socks off in your cover letter, pitch us a list of 3 to 5 books for a "Books to Borrow" theme/genre of your choice. If you think you know books, we can't wait to hear from you!

Please note that successful applicants will undergo a probationary period (i.e. write two solid reviews) before they are considered to be regular Schema contributors.

Posted by Genie MacLeod | January 26, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Books, Literature

"White Only" Swimming Pool in Ohio

By Brandon Woo

Don't let this black-and-white picture fool you. This sign isn't from the time of Abe Lincoln or Martin Luther King Jr. Rather, this sign is from last year.

Jamie Hein, the Ohioan owner of the pool in the photograph, noted that a black teen in the neighborhood was using many chemicals in her hair. To prevent this teen from turning the pool's water "cloudy," Hein erected a "white only" sign.

For doing this, the Ohio Civil Rights Commission found that Hein violated the Ohio Civil Rights Act. Hein, however, argues that she's not being racist. She says that she only erected the sign to keep the water clear. If she's telling the truth, then she's an idiot.

If Hein didn't want the teen's hair products to turn the pool's water cloudy, then she could have approached the teen about it. If the teen didn't comply, she could go about setting a ban on people who use an excessive amount of hair products. A ban of this kind would be similar to making it mandatory for children to wear socks in an indoor playground. It doesn't infringe on anyone's rights—it's just for the good of everyone.

Instead, Hein decided to ban all black people from her pool—hair products or not. But not all black people use excessive amounts of hair products. Not all people who use excessive amounts of hair products are black. This is where the logic that Hein claims she has fails.

For these reasons, I think Hein's lying. She's just running out of excuses. If she thinks that her lie will work, then she's even more of an idiot than she would be if she were telling the truth.

***
Brandon Woo is a happy high school student whose interests lie in art, writing, education, current events, and sex. If you have any suggestions about something that Brandon might want to write about, send him an email at brandon.woo@schemamag.ca, and he'll get back to you.

Posted by Brandon Woo | January 24, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Brandon Woo, Colorism, Commentary, Race

Shit Girls Say is Comedy with a Meh

By Gayatri Bajpai

Joseph An who wrote 'The Truth behind 'Shit Girls Say'' is an absolute radical: he's suggesting we laugh at politically incorrect videos.

He argues that people should just lighten up and enjoy the humour, because really we all know this stuff is true.

"Many women (whether they wanted to admit it or not) were also embarrassed that a man could so accurately pinpoint their banalities." Really, Joseph An? That's like the intellectual equivalent of going "you're only mad I called you a potty-face because you are a potty-face".

To say women who don't like them are embarrassed by the accuracy is begging the question of whether the videos are even accurate. I think this is what went on in An's head:

Shit Girls Say is an accurate portrayal of most women (because I've met a couple who are like this). Shit Girls Say is funny to me and other people.

Therefore, Shit Girls Say is funny to everyone (except the enslaved politically correct), and Shit Girls Say must be accurate.

Logic's a bit off, isn't it?

An writes, "It all started with "Shit Girls Say," a series of YouTube videos created by Graydon Sheppard, Columbia University graduate student, that satirize some of the most identifiable and painfully relatable one-liners we hear from girls all the time."

I wouldn't call almost anything the 'girl' says in that video a 'one-liner', unless An takes the term literally. One-liners are supposed to have comedic value in an of themselves, kind of like punch lines, except without the buildup.

And I would not call them either painfully relatable or something I hear all the time.

My problem with the original 'Shit Girls Say' video is that even though it's moderately funny (and not ROFL funny, maybe more lazy-grin-funny), half its comedic value is derived from a dude portraying women, and the other half from cliched 'feminine' characteristics: helplessness, shallowness, idiocy, being overemotional when meeting one's friend. Otherwise, the stuff girls say—according to this video, anyway—just isn't that funny.

Those of you who disagree with me will think: right, exactly...it's banal girly stuff, like An said. But it's banal sh*t that ain't limited to girls, honey. Everyone asks for help with computers and opinions on their clothes sometimes. It's more the way it's said that's supposed to be funny.

Many of the variations just harp on the same girly tone and vary the ethnicity. And a lot of it is stuff we think girls say because that's what they say on TV shows and in the movies.

The ones that do it for me are the 'ethnic' girls portraying white girls' attitudes towards them, for example. Those hit home because they reverse the perspective on us—which as far as comedy goes, for example, is usually male—and the comedian is a woman who's getting her own back at some of the more ignorant sh*t she has to put up with all the time. AND they're funny and relatable.

But the fact that men did the original video and many of them are still done by men makes me bored. They're often funnier because they're a man in a wig more than anything else.

An just makes the tired argument that recognizing mannerisms and idiosyncracies is less racist/sexist/prejudiced than not, but thinks he's said something new. It doesn't take much to 'recognize' a stereotype. Who hasn't seen girls being portrayed as ditzes before?

I don't feel obliged to laugh at Shit Girls Say to show I'm not politically correct. I find it effortless not to laugh at Shit Girls Say because it's just not that funny. I grin and move on until I read stupid sh*t like this radical article. And before you jump on An's highly rebellious anti-PC bandwagon, two things: you're right, I am a feminazi (and proud of it), and you're wrong, I'm not very angry about SGS. I think it set the stage for way better spin-offs.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | January 20, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Comedy, Commentary, Gayatri Bajpai, Video

WTF Friday | Top Five Sh*t ____ Say Videos

By Schema Magazine

It's WTF Friday again! This week, we're featuring our fave Sh*t ___ Say videos.

If you haven't seen any of these, you must not log on to Facebook or Twitter very much. Check out our contributors' top picks.

You'll laugh. You'll facepalm. You'll question humanity's intelligence.

Sadiya Ansari's pick, Shit White Girls Say...to Brown Girls:

Christina Jung's pick, Shit Asian Girls Say:

Beth Hong's pick, Shit Asian Mothers Say:

Shima Ghailan's pick, Shit Middle Eastern Guys Say:

Zi-Ann Lum's pick, Shit White Guys Say...to Asian girls:

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 20, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Christina Jung, Comedy, Media, Sadiya Ansari, Shima Ghailan

One Month Passes From Kim-Jong-il's Death | A Tragedy or a Celebration?

By Mehran Najafi

Kim Jong-il died of a suspected heart attack on the 17th day of December. Exactly a month has gone by and his shocking, yet celebrated (depending on your political groove), death has inspired a wide range of public reactions. So polarized the reactions have been in this matter that, in a weird way, they can be thought of as a somewhat accurate reflection of his ambiguous character.

As YouTube shows us, the endless tears and jaw-clenching agonies of North Koreans are crystal clear (at least on state television) over a leader of what used to be, and still is, the lone totalitarian Stalin-like regime in the political arena. His third and youngest son, Kim Jong-un, is now the new shining knight of his father's battalion, ready to take over a lone anticipating nation at the tender age of 28 (which makes him the world's youngest head of state).

But, on the funny side, here is a collection of Kim Jong-il partying away alongside the biggest DJs in the music scene. Kind of random if you ask me, but nevertheless amusing.

Enjoy.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 20, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Korea, Mehran Najafi

Beautiful Sisters | Culture of Beauty

By Kait Bolongaro

In our society, both women and men feel immense pressure to conform to our impossible standards of beauty: thin, tall, blonde, fair skinned, big eyes. Some turn to cosmetic surgery to 'correct' what makes them feel insecure. Beautiful Sisters, a new documentary by Connie Chung, explores eyelid surgery (a procedure that creates a double eyelid), a popular procedure for many women of Asian origin.

This 8-minute documentary gives the audience a revealing glimpse into each woman's personal struggle. Some are torn between conforming to American cultural beauty norms and maintaining their ethnic origins; others undergo the procedure almost as a right of passage or under pressure from their family. Beautiful Sisters is a touching look at how we define beauty, and how this definition shapes our cultural and racial identities.

Watching this film gave me some insight into the phenomenon of eyelid surgery. As I have large green eyes, I never even thought of altering my eyes; I have no idea what it would be like to have someone try to tape my eyelids. However, every eye is beautiful, regardless of its size or if it has a double fold. Our society needs to expand its constrained ideals of beauty to include all backgrounds, genders, sizes, and shapes.

Check out the documentary below.

Posted by Kait Bolongaro | January 19, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Asian Women, Beauty, Documentary, Film, Kait Bolongaro

A Lesson on Sensitivity | Slavery and Violence Used as Examples in Math Worksheets in Georgia, USA

By Ada Lee

Parents of the students at Beaver Ridge Elementary Schools were upset to find, in their children's math assignment, that there were word problems that used slavery and violence as examples. News sources were quick to identify that the problem was not the topics in itself, but the way it was presented - without historical context and without additional guidance.

Here are some sample questions so you get a sense of what we're talking about here:

"If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in 1 week?"

"Each tree had 56 oranges. If 8 slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?"

School board district spokesperson Sloan Roach admitted that the questions were "inappropriate" and that more stringent measures will be used to ensure that lessons will, from now on, be more appropriate. However, she also explained that the teachers meant no harm, as their main aim was to incorporate social studies lesson in math problems for a "cross-curricular activity".

If that's the case, what kind of 'social studies lesson' were they trying to teach?

Sloan continues to say that "this [was] simply a case of creating a bad question." She's right; those are terrible questions. But the consequences of these bad questions reach far beyond the likes of "Joan has 5 piles of manure. She ate 2 of them. How many does she have left?"

Unfortunately, just because something was done without ill intention certainly doesn't make it immune from being completely insensitive and hurtful.

By presenting violence and slavery without examination, the teacher(s) behind this math assignment are saying that it's okay to conceptualize these topics casually and dismissively. And it's often the inconsideration and nonchalance when dealing with issues of difference, like taking certain words and concepts all too casually, that creates the space for intolerance.

***
Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. The list ranges from social justice to astrology. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 18, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, America

Salvaging Your Online Image | Photos on Facebook Mostly Unflattering

By Ada Lee

In the age of Photoshop where there is practically an art in taking the most flattering photos of yourself, unappealing pictures of yourself friends post of you is as toxic to your online persona as wRiTinG liKe thiS.

We've all been there. It's bad enough that your friend's camera pretty much rendered that pretty wicked dance you pulled off last night as an awkward display of full-body seizures and constipated looks that you thought had made you look extra intense.

But to have it documented and forever solidified in picture form, and then posted online, is plain terrible. Worst yet, you would have to relive that poorly timed capture every time you're on Facebook.

What to do now? You could beg/bribe your (hopefully) sympathetic friend to remove that picture.

Or you could thank Facebook for the new flagging option that rolled out last August. Along with its series of "improved" security options, Facebook made a tweek under the photo-reporting dialogue in which you could choose "I don't like this picture of myself" as a new option.

This specific change came from the realization by Facebook that the majority of flagged photos are not actually "offensive" (in the Facebook criteria, anything that depicts nudity, hate speech, drug use, violence, and spam). Rather, flaggers just felt that the photos were ugly pictures of themselves.

However, while Facebook will remove offensive photos, these "ugly pictures" will not be removed; instead, the new option asks the poster to feel for the poor person being compromised, and FB hopes that the complaint would convince the poster to remove the photos.

While the effectiveness of this flagging tool is uncertain, it does offer up a possibility of satisfying two needs in the age of social networking. Other than the fact that it'll protect and please our vain (online) egos, it will also ensure that when future employers do our background check, they won't see those incriminating party photos your friends took of you that one night.

***
Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. The list ranges from social justice to astrology. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 19, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee

Gay Artist Attacked in His Own Exhibition | A Pitiful Threat to Art

By Mehran Najafi

Here is a story that will brighten your day. A gay Indian artist, by the name of Balbir Krishnan, was viciously attacked by an unidentified aggressor in the heart of the country. The attack came when the artist was speaking about his collection, titled "Out Here And Now", in front of a camera crew in the Lalit Kala Akademi exhibition space.

As the video shows, a man, covering his face with a handkerchief, suddenly appears in the background and smashes one of Balbir's pieces closest to him and then pushes and kicks Balbir to the ground while continuously insulting him with not so pleasant words. There is one more thing I should mention—Balbir is a double amputee.

Balbir tragically lost both of his legs in a colossal train accident in 1996, which compelled him to get artificial limbs. Such a pitiful attack comes to us at a time when the phenomenon of homophobia is as relevant as it has ever been. This phenomenon certainly doesn't limit itself to countries such as India or other 'not-so-developed' countries in the world, but it is as big of an issue in the 'developed' West.

With the growing presence of a gay sub-culture inside mainstream consciousness, homophobia has also grown as a popular reaction and antidote in various circles and movements. In the case of Balbir, Hindu extremism is to blame, as weeks prior to the opening of his first exhibition, Balbir was bombarded with continuous threats and messages that said "we chased Hussein away, you are nothing" and "you are determined to ruin Hinduism". This strand of crazed Hinduism defines homosexuality as blasphemous within our social context and, more alarmingly, it promotes it as a threat, a farce, an impurity, an infidelity and a glitch within how things are supposed to work.

This story is so bizarre. So much so that with its bizarreness, it has the potential to kill (or awaken...I hope) the ambition of thousands of not only gay Indian artists making Krishnan-like art (if you will), but also thousands of further artists that are producing art that is provoking enough.

So, Mr. Attacker, your attack on Balbir Krishnan stands as an attack against all artists and art itself. You have really outdone yourself this time. Not only have you publicly shamed yourself in your inhumane act in kicking and swearing at a physically handicapped artist while covering your face, but, you have also succeeded in showing that you are not confident or competent enough to intellectually confront that which you despise.

***

Mehran Najafi is a 5th year student, patching up his expertise in International Development studies in the University of British Columbia. He aspires to be a groovy writer, photographer, thinker, conspirator and DJ. Oddly enough, he likes to introduce himself as the meditative space that sits above the hyphen in 'Iranian-Canadian', but is frequently disappointed, as the people around him like to think otherwise. On his free time, he plays, laughs, spins, twirls, and jumps, up and down, down and up, round and round from one day to the next.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 17, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Identity, India, Mehran Najafi, Queer, Sex

Expiry Dates | A Death Sentence or a Suggestion?

By Codi Hauka

There are plenty of things that we tend to disregard once our use for it has passed. If it's out of sight, it's out of mind, as the saying goes. When we flush the toilet, when we throw out the trash, we tend not to think about how the journey hasn't ended for that which we are disposing of. One important example of this is food after it reaches its expiry date, and with so much purchased food already going to waste, it's easy to imagine how many items never make it off the shelves.

I can honestly say this is something I have never considered before, and yet there are hundreds of groceries removed from supermarkets every evening by staff as they near the end of their shelf life. The Food Marketing Institute (FMI) research shows that most of these items inevitably do reach an empty stomach. The groceries either end-up in a food bank, salvage store, or gathered by people who solicit the back alleys of markets.

I've always thought of the expiration date as more of a "suggestion" than a rigid time-frame to adhere to. In fact, it would seem that the American Food and Drug Administration would agree with me. With the proper storage, these foods can remain safe for consumption for some time after the date printed on them. These items, which fall into a category called "unsaleables" and includes damaged but safe goods, are heavily discounted to assist those of us with lower budgets. As such, it should come as no surprise with the challenging economic times that purchasing groceries from salvage stores and frequenting food banks has escalated over the past year.

But this practice of donating and discounting nearly or fully expired foods does more than help out bank accounts, it also encourages less wasteful behavior and getting into the habit of thinking beyond food's life in the supermarket. I believe that if we considered the journey of many of things we use then we might make a conscious effort to throw out fewer things, or make more effective use of the items we already have. With the right knowledge and consideration, a lot of the items that might otherwise be overlooked can feed a family that might have gone without dinner, or allow you to make that brownie recipe you've been craving. So don't let the looming expiry date be something that scares you, but instead something that inspires you to think beyond the shelf.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 18, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Codi Hauka, Food

An All Time High | Australia the Top Country for Marijuana Use

By Codi Hauka

Vancouverites are no strangers to marijuana. Let's face it, it's even one of the things that defines us as a city, which can be seen as a symbol of liberty or one of shame, depending on who you ask. But in the global scheme of things, our city of potheads can't hold a candle to the country with the highest number of marijuana users: Australia. This information might finally provide an explanation for sayings such as, "throw another shrimp on the barbie."

A British medical journal found that Australia and its sheep-loving neighbour New Zealand have an affinity towards using marijuana and amphetamines. Given the large expanses of rural terrain, ideal climate and soil, and utter lack of people to talk to for miles around, it should come as no surprise that marijuana has thrived in these two countries. In fact, one could argue that Australia is a weed utopia, with the perfect conditions that facilitate evasion of the law, and a fertile ground that produces an excess of weed. Such is heaven.

It could be argued that marijuana is the most socially acceptable form of illicit drug use, and like Vancouver, Australia accepts the open use of it and has also taken steps to decriminalize certain quantities for possession. Despite this liberal view of drug consumption, there are of course places that do not condone such an attitude towards pot use. In Vancouver, people are used to smoking in public, at times even directly in front of police. In fact, I've seen teachers enact harsher punishments on students for smoking weed than cops on intoxicated clubbers on Granville Street.

This is part of the reason why people are so baffled when they come to Vancouver. The minimal to no reprimand for marijuana use is not something that every city or country would so readily exhibit.

Take America, for example. I've heard from a number of US citizens that punishment for marijuana use or possession borders on ridiculous in their respective cities. One student attested that while smoking weed in a secluded area of a park late one evening, a police officer forced them to the ground and handcuffed them for violating the law. This person then had to spend the night in jail and their probation sentence stipulated that they spend the next six months attending a rehabilitation seminar for drug-users. The student was only seventeen when this happened. They also said that in their first week at UBC, while smoking on campus one night, an officer came up to them and said something along the lines of, "I'd prefer if you didn't do that." Then he left them alone, with no charges. And that's why Vancouver has the reputation for pot-use that it does.

So Australia and New Zealand have Vancouver beat (for now) with their levels of marijuana consumption, but its rampant use is also a signal to their own governments as well as authorities across the world that perhaps it's time to reconsider laws surrounding the drug. But for now, places like Vancouver, Australia and New Zealand will only remain concerned with how many tokes over the line they are.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 16, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Codi Hauka, Culture, International

Media Talkback | Chinese-only signs aren't good for Canada?

By Alden E. Habacon

There's a provocative op-ed by Vancouver Sun columnist Douglas Todd published today called Why Chinese-only signs aren't good for Canada. Here's the lede and nut graph of the piece:

A Richmond woman has been getting the bureaucratic brush-off in her efforts to restrict the pre-dominance of Chinese-language signs in her hometown.

Despite Richmond officials acknowledging that many residents are upset by the large Chinese-only signs being erected in the city, Kerry Starchuk has been consistently stonewalled in her campaign, which consists of letters to the editor and buttonholing politicians.

But there are many reasons to support Starchuk's mission to have the 200,000-resident suburb bring in bylaws that favour English-language signs over foreign-language ones.

There are a few issues I have with the main arguments Todd makes in this article.

First, Richmond is not really an enclave. There are no real or invisible barriers that keep people in or out. And I don't think Richmond is economically disadvantaged. The article in the Sun is intentionally controversial (as many articles about diversity are), but not well-thought out.

It makes a big argument about the impact on culture, but the argument is pointed in the wrong direction. There's a basic reason signs are in Chinese: economics. It's part of the marketing. It drives the Chinese-speaking consumers to the malls. It has nothing to do with multiculturalism, or cultural cohesion. It's about money. In fact, it was this money that has driven Richmond economy. The other thing that the article seems completely ignorant of is the fact that Chinese is not a "minority language" in Richmond.

Second, one might argue the signage is a reflection of the languages spoken in that part of the city. If there were a competition between multiculturalism and democracy, I'd like to think democracy wins. Absolutely, we need a common language to foster social cohesion. But more importantly, we need common values. Regardless of language. English-speakers with profoundly different social values (ie. the environment, Downtown Eastside, diversity, homelessness) make social cohesion difficult.

Lastly, the article pretends that Richmond and people that live in Richmond don't have a deep connection to Asia. Their connection to Asia is likely much deeper than to Ottawa, Montreal and Toronto perhaps. It doesn't make sense to compare the kind of experience and expectations of the other coast to what's happening here. Perhaps that connection makes some people nervous. Perhaps it threatens old ideas of Canada. But it's these connections we're counting on to pull us out of the recession. Rhetoric aside (and the article is all 1970s multiculticultural rhetoric) in the end, cities around the world are trying to court Chinese investors, immigrants, and consumers—Richmond was just at it before anyone else.

The signage in Chinese are the signs (excuse the pun) of this.

Posted by Beth Hong | January 14, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Alden E. Habacon

Sh*t Sri Lankan Mothers Say

By Justin Ko

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past little while, you've seen the "Sh*t Girls Say" video series on YouTube, in all its politically incorrect hilarity. It seems like the world wide web is definitely getting a kick out of the guerrilla-style humor being posted on a near-daily basis, and it's a refreshing thing to see. None of it seems to have a malicious or critical intent, which perhaps is a reason why the trend has been so popular.

Yet there has been a noticeable lack of Asian or South Asian presence on these videos. So it's amazing that a few South Asian guys decided to dress up in drag (the lovely Sri Lankan mother above has NOTHING to do with the video, by the way) and release this absolutely sick video below&mdashl"Sh*t Sri Lankan Mothers Say"—which lampoons the memorable tendencies of South Asian mothers, for instance their (apparent) insistence that their children "eat, eat, eat, eat!"

You don't have to be Sri Lankan or even South Asian to really appreciate the humor in the video, which also seems genuinely lighthearted, despite the spot-on imitations of the South Asian accent. Sometimes it's good to let your hair down, figuratively or literally as with the ridiculous wigs worn in the video, and have a little fun at our immigrant parents' expense.

Posted by Justin Ko | January 16, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Funny, Justin Ko, South Asian

Sex Ed 101 | Did It Work For You?

By Vinnie Yuen

I'm kicking off my sex and relationships column with the age old question: what was your first time like? First time you learned about sex, I mean.

The first time I learned about sex, I was in sixth grade. I was in sitting in a classroom with my friends watching a video.

"Changes are falling, like the sunshine and the rain!" the kids sang at the beginning of the video.

So I watched in awe as the video explained the processes of menstruation, male and female genitalia and anatomy, and finally, what men and women do to create babies. I couldn't believe half the things I was hearing. Bleeding every month? Sex? What did this all mean?

Prior to that class, I learned about sex from television and movies. I had always thought women and men just hug naked, roll around, kiss, and sleep together in the same bed to make babies. And then the woman would show up a few episodes later, crying about her unexpected pregnancy.

When I finally learned about what sex was, I was completely taken off guard.

After we watched the video, the girls and boys separated into different classrooms. Our female teacher then taught us about the "female" side of sex, and she even stuck a pad to her face as a joke. We all laughed. But even though I laughed on the outside, I felt an uneasiness in my stomach. She said that yes, sex might hurt for the first time, but we won't have to worry about that for a while. Also, we would be so excited and enamoured, we would barely feel the pain. I wasn't convinced.

She opened the floor up for questions. I couldn't remember what any of my classmates asked, because I was still in a state of shock. How much of this do I have to endure when I grow up, this sex thing? So I shot up my hand and asked, "How often do you have sex?"

Now, I meant it as a generic "you", as in how often do people have sex, but the teacher looked shocked. Everyone couldn't believe I asked the question. My classmates looked at me like I was crazy to ask.

Luckily, she was very good-humoured about it, laughed, and then told me that it was private. I didn't get a chance to explain my question and it went unanswered.

Perhaps one of the most shocking things I learned was that I had a third hole down there, solely for the purpose of sex. When I went home that day, I wanted to find it. I shut the door, closed the blinds, and looked in the mirror. I couldn't see it. All I saw was folds of skin.

For the longest time, I was convinced that unlike other girls, I didn't have one down there. I was an anomaly. Needless to say, I've found out otherwise since that day. I figured some things out, but I always did it alone. And after that elementary school class, sex was never taught again until one class in my grade 10 year of high school, which taught the different types of contraception.

What about you? How did you learn about sex? How did you feel?

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 18, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Dating, Sex, Vinnie Yuen

Claire Fontaine | "They Hate us for our Freedom"

By Brandon Woo

Using matches, Claire Fontaine, a Parisian artist, creates a map of France. After finishing, she lights her work of art on fire and watches it burn.

Fire as an element has strength on its own. It is wild, beautiful, and full of energy, yet it can so easily leave destruction in its wake.

The matches, on the other hand, add a second dimension to Fontaine's works. Within such close proximity of each other, they seem so delicate, so vulnerable. "Anyone could light the fire," Fontaine mentions as she describes her work. What she's suggesting is not unlike the domino effect—light one match and the entire country of France will be at risk. According to Fontaine, France is just that fragile.

Fontaine's work isn't simply powerful—it's powerful as a political statement. She does what most, if not all, artists strive to do—make their audience think. It's an ability that I aim to develop as an artist.

Brandon Woo is a happy high school student in Vancouver, BC. In working with Schema, he hopes to educate others about current events and learn more about the world around him too. If you have any suggestions about something that Brandon might want to write about, send him an email at brandon.woo@schemamag.ca, and he'll get back to you.

Posted by Brandon Woo | January 17, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Art, Brandon Woo, Culture, France, Politics

Hate, in the Name of My Deity | Tennessee Puts Forward a Loophole in Anti-bullying Laws

By Ada Lee

The former Republican state Senator and current Christian activist David Fowler has proposed a bill for the amendment of the state's current anti-bullying law. According to TPM, this bill will include a specification in which the anti-bulling policy should "not be construed or interpreted to infringe upon the First Amendment rights of students and shall not prohibit their expression of religious, philosophical, or political views," as long as there is no physical threat or threat to another student's property. Along with his support group, the Family Action Council of Tennessee (FACT), Fowler is essentially pushing for a ban against bullying, yet redefining what constitutes bullying. Anything backed by a personal belief is a-okay.

Smells fishy to you? You're not the only one thinking that this proposed bill just gave birth to an enormous loophole.

This proposed bill would let me do the following in Tennessee: I can call you an unworthy bowl of soggy macaroni, and then say that all soggy macaroni will burn eternally in hell and should be killed off immediately. But I'll get away with it if I say I'm just expressing the opinion of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

In all seriousness, the scenarios could play out in so many ways. While the religious aspect of it might trouble many, the philosophical and political belief part is equally troubling in my opinion, simply because it means that the hate comments of any group of people with an opinion will be legitimized. Think about the LGBT community. Think about racial discrimination. Think about all the hateful comments that can be rendered socially and legally acceptable by backing them up as mere expressions of belief. While Fowler argues that the purpose of this amendment is to "stop bullying and not to create a special class of people who are more important than others," it seems to me that is exactly what the bill will create.

A spokesman for state senator Jim Tracy stated that they are currently in the process of narrowing the "very broad" language. But even a stringent guideline would not be likely to be able to control the extremely wide scope of comments that will become accepted under the law, from "My god believes in truth" to "My political party believes that all homosexual people should be eradicated."

If the bill does pass in Tennessee, perhaps people would be better off if they just removed the anti-bullying law entirely. That way they won't be fooling themselves in thinking that they are protecting victims from bullying.

***
Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. The list ranges from social justice to astrology. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 13, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, America, Politics

Goodbye, Super Girl | China Makes Drastic Cuts to Entertainment Television

By Codi Hauka

I've never really known what to qualify shows like Jersey Shore as, but I can't say I've ever thought of them as embodying an egregious, right-wing agenda or as a looming threat to Socialist values. Although, filming a bunch of people that look like oompa-loompas who spend most of their money on alcohol and whatever industrial strength hairspray holds Snookie's bouffant in place, must be a horrific display of consumerism. And that is why the Chinese government has axed such examples of "entertainment" television.

The State Administration of Radio, Film and Television (SARFT) has decided that entertainment programs have saturated Chinese TVs with an excessive amount of low culture, that has created friction against the promotion of traditional Chinese values, and ultimately diluted Socialist principles. President Hu Jintao has issued warnings of the Western influence such shows possess. Really, he's just stating what most people have been in denial of: that we, the West, are addicted to crap TV.

It's goodbye to popular shows such as Super Girl, a female singing contest that the SARFT deemed "too long." For quality, low taste TV, you have to leave time to weed out all the crazy people that make the show entertaining before you get to uncover the talent. It's called suspense, and some people care about it more than who runs their country. Seriously, I've met people who can name all the girls in a season of Teen Mom but don't know what party our Prime Minister belongs to.

While I think that certain forms of entertainment TV don't embody the most redeeming qualities (Hillbilly Handfishing, I'm looking at you), I do have a problem with the manipulation of citizen's freedom and values. If I don't like reality TV, then at least I have the choice of not watching it. But to be honest, I love having the option of turning to Wipeout when I need a good laugh at someone else's expense. What the SARFT has done is another step in the direction towards limiting freedom of choice within China, with the severe censorship of the Internet already restricting the free flow of information within the country.

What is most alarming about this entertainment scale back is its signal of a state becoming more intimate with and normalizing totalitarianism, controlling all aspects of public and private life, which might be one of the only things scarier than Snookie's hairdo. So while I may not agree with the content of most entertainment TV, I do stand by my freedom of choice to indulge in some low culture every now and then, and that's something I don't want taken away anytime soon.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 13, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Censorship, China, Codi Hauka, Television

Magic Brings On The Magic

By Mehran Najafi

So the story goes something like this. After being diagnosed with HIV over 20 years ago—in what came to be one of the hottest news stories in the country—NBA legend Magic Johnson heroically sidelined himself from the game he loved. His immediate public pledge to 'battle this deadly disease' till the end of his life has made him one of professional sport's most memorable figures.

He has kept himself pretty busy since then. He wrote a book on safe sex, found his way into and around show business and started a multi-million dollar all-purpose company (Magic Johnson Enterprises) which is pretty much involved in everything and anything that is residual with the entertainment business. And of course, when not doing business, Magic's HIV activism has led him to be one of the most renounced celebrity figures battling the big bad forces of ignorance on the issue.

Now comes the twist. Magic has now decided that he wants to employ rap superstars in addressing homophobia as a way to normalize and de-stigmatize the HIV issue amongst black communities. Now this master plan is worthy of a friendly nod at first, but the whole idea feels kind of ticklish to me. It is true that this approach is rather clever and effective in utilizing rap idols in spreading a message, rightly assuming that people will lend an ear and listen to the people they love. And it also is true that, especially given our exasperated celebrity-driven culture, people's fame translates into social capital, and that social capital can at most occasions beat any form of political or pure economical capital.

But, though I am not a hip hop expert, the last time I checked, the rap world was built upon those with the most messed up pasts and those that best coloured themselves as the toughest and most badass, driven by none other than their super male egos birthed out of pure machismo! In turn, many gay rappers and personas in the industry have led and are leading secret gay lives as Terrance Dean's book points out. As former executive at MTV, Dean's memoir became the first to crack the industry's hard shell and give exposure to the substantial gay subculture that quietly lives alongside the industry.

But, the juice of the matter is that, as Dean would say, gay personas and values are not welcome (to say the least) in such a hetero-male-aggressive space and will continue to be marginal. All seem to think that penis-driven-values are what inspired the industry since its humble beginnings, and will continue to do so for the time to come. Ticklish, no?
So, Mr. Johnson, your humble attempt at reforming the rap industry might tweak a few muscles here and there while lengthening your HIV activist resume, but the chances are, at the end of the day, the rabbit hole is much deeper than you think.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 12, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Hip Hop, Mehran Najafi, Music, Sports

ARTMLKTEA | Art's Birthday + Martin Luther King's Birthday + World Tea Party Media Mashup

By Gayatri Bajpai

Ever heard of Art's Birthday? Apparently a French guy called Robert Filliou estimated that art was born on the 17th of January, to be precise, around 1,000,000 years ago.

On the website dedicated to the subject, Art's Birthday. Net, it says that he decided this in 1963 unilaterally ('it happened when someone dropped a dry sponge into a bucket of water. Modest beginnings, but look at us now.'). And since it is common-knowledge that artists have inbuilt mechanisms for determining exact chronologies, we all let him.

This weekend there's a super-duper art and media extravaganza in Gastown at the W2 Media Cafe. I went there for the New Year's Eve lights show and these guys definitely know how to throw a good party, so check out the Facebook page.

The first event is the 'MLK FILM & VIDEO PROGRAM', 'a Fade to Black celebration of Martin Luther King's birthday through Films and Video of inspirational stories, historical events of the civil rights movement and revolutionary visions.' For a schedule of both feature films and the shorts that will be showing, check it out on Facebook.

The suggested donation is $5-$15 and it runs from 10AM to 12AM.

Following that is ART'S BIRTHDAY/WORLD TEA PARTY, on Sunday, January the 15th, from 3PM to 7PM. This involves—you guessed it—tea! And cake! And sound art performances, projections, media streams and a special MLK DJ selection. Peter Courtemanche, Trolley Bus, Don Chow, Lincoln Thorne, Square Root of Evil will be among the artists performing.

Hope to see you there getting your art fix, via sponge-dipping or whatever else floats your boat.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | January 12, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Art, Events, Film, Gayatri Bajpai, Media

It's Okay, it's Christmas! | Montreal Man Crosses Border with iPad

By Ada Lee

Next time before you head down south for a quick Seattle fix, snap a quick copy of your passport on your i-device, because it might just save you from trekking all the way back home if you happen to forget the real thing. A 33-year-old Montreal man crossed the Canada-US border with his driver's license and iPad. Yes, his iPad, with a scanned image of his passport on it.

Martin Reisch told the official that he was heading down to Vermont to commence Santa Claus duties—delivering Christmas presents. He had forgotten to bring his passport, and presented his iPad copy of his passport in an attempt to get through. Reisch claimed that the officer took his iPad into the border room and checked it out for about 5 to 6 minutes before coming back. The officer then let him cross the border after wishing him a Merry Christmas.

The US Customs spokeswoman Jenny Burke disputed this case, claiming that the traveler crossed the border with not just his driving license but also a birth certificate. Reisch denied that he was carrying his birth certificate, though.

Since 2009, Canadians passing through the US-Canada border were required to present a passport, a change that received some disgruntled whines of inconvenience from frequent travelers. So I'm sure I'm not the only one that felt naively excited after reading this. Does this mean that soon we'll have the option to just email a copy of your passport to the border officials in advance?

But then I start to think about just how much of Reisch's story was made possible by him declaring that he was delivering gifts for Christmas. What I mean is, I wonder if he could get the same leniency if he was, say, delivering the dumplings for Chinese New Year, or meeting up with family for Ramadan? Even Reisch himself said that he believed that his Christmas reason, along with his driver's license, helped him cross the border.

***
Ada Lee is a sixth year Human Geography/International Relations student who is interested in people and what makes them tick. The list ranges from social justice to astrology. She tries to get by in life by getting high on ideas, breathing deeply, and dreaming vividly. Follow 0415ADA at your own risk.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 11, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Ada Lee, Apple, Technology, Travel

Death Can Wait | A Polish Artist Takes Fame into His Own Hands

By Codi Hauka

It would seem that artists no longer have to wait for death to have their art exhibited in galleries or to gain prestige. An art student in Poland by the name of Andrzej Sobiepan, discouraged by the posthumous fame gained by the likes of Van Gogh, decided to take matters into his own hands by hanging his artwork in the National Museum of Poland. This is certainly an interesting tactic to employ, and one that finds its inspiration from a similar act by the infamous British graffiti artist Banksy, who back in 2005 managed to mount his own work throughout a number of institutions in New York, including the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Perhaps the fact that it took curators three days to realize that Sobeipan's artwork was not indeed a part of the Museum's exhibit is a testament to the merit of his work—that, or it means that it was just to blasé to even notice. But in this case, it doesn't appear that the quality of the art is what has gained Sobeipan notoriety. Rather, the act of hanging his own art surreptitiously in the Museum is what has brought him fame. The director of the museum, Mariusz Hermansdorfer, stated that the humor of the situation is what is drawing interest towards Sobeipan, and has even waived the security breaches in lieu of this. Note to self: must work on knock-knock jokes before attempting next robbery.

Sobeipan said that he did not want to wait 30 or 40 years to see his art displayed in such a place, and that "I want to benefit from them in the here and now." Some would call his statement selfish, but why wouldn't it be? Don't we all secretly crave the need to have our names known to a wider audience? To be recognized and hailed for doing what we make of our lives? Yet if gaining acclaim is as simple as Sobeipan has made it seem, what's to stop a local artist from putting their CD on a Future Shop shelf then walking away? Or stopping me from stuffing every Metro newspaper box with my own brilliant writing? Oh, these mental notes are stacking.

Sobeipan's fame might be short-lived, or this act could be a launching pad for his career. He may end up being known as an innovator or a copycat, with Banksy having done it first and on a larger scale. Either way, it is a statement about the values and disillusionment of today's youth across the world, feeling the need to be a spark among billions of lights. Sobeipan will have to see what the future yields him, but for now, I know that there are a lot of newspaper boxes that need stuffing.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 10, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Art, Codi Hauka, Europe

The Washington Post | Immigrants as People

By Sadiya Ansari

I thought immigrants were already people—just people that came from other places.

The Washington Post's 2012 trend list made its position clear on the matter. Monica Hesse and Dan Zak, who compiled the list, declared immigrants as people as in for 2012, while corporations as people as passé.

The Post links to an article on Republic presidential candidate hopeful Mitt Romney's staunch opposition to illegal immigration.

The spirit of the comment appears to be advocacy for the immigrant but anyone who actually knows an actual immigrant will look confused when you tell them immigrants are people is the new "it" thing for 2012. Confusion quickly transforms into annoyance and in some cases anger.

I'll break it down quite simply without getting into the whole ugly hierarchy of humanity that we like to believe doesn't exist.

A fact cannot be a trend. Immigrants are people. This will not go out of style whether or not people use a hash tag to express this. A more intelligent comment on the treatment of illegal immigrants in particular may have been more useful.

Romney's claim that "corporations are people too, my friend" is also an interesting issue but its treatment and juxtaposition with the immigrant comment also makes it a throwaway in this list.

At least they had the decency not to throw up an image of an uncontexualized coloured person representing "immigrant as person." Is this what the world has come to in 2012 that these are the things I am supposed to be grateful about? Sighing and signing off.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 10, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Sadiya Ansari

Charlie Brown Is Not a Racist | Denis Leary's Islamophobic Parody

By Shima Ghailan

Denis Leary on WhoSay

Just a few days after this past Christmas of 2011, Denis Leary's "A Charlie Brown Christmas" parody was under the spotlight and garnered much discussion. The classic "A Charlie Brown Christmas" was essentially Charlie Brown attempting to find the true meaning of Christmas. Leary's parody features Charlie Brown losing faith in Christianity and so decides to convert to Islam. And that's when the racist references begin.

This parody is not original in its depiction of Islam as a violent religion and Muslims as terrorists with their only goal to demolish the world of any non-Muslims. It's redundant in its references to "killing the infidels", "the 70-something virgins in heaven" and giving no break to the word "Jihad".

As I watched this parody, I was knocking down points like an old school NES "Duck Hunt" game circa 1989. Let me provide you with just a few:

The parody begins with Charlie Brown expressing his doubt of Christianity. His friend walks by and suggests the idea of converting to Islam. His friend then grabs his blanket and wraps it around his head simulating a turban. Is this at all reminiscent of the popular comments towards women who wear the veils as "towel heads"? This gesture only further degrades Muslims by negatively framing their choice of attire. -2 points

Charlie Brown is shown prostrating on a mat and his friends walk by asking what he's doing. Charlie Brown looks up and answers "I'm facing Mecca and praying". They then laugh at him and say "everyone knows Mecca is that way" pointing to the opposite direction. And this is symbolic of the "white superiority" where the non-Muslim is miraculously more knowledgeable than the Muslim on how to pray according to Islam. -3 points.

At the Christmas concert practice, Charlie Brown shows up with a long beard and a homemade bomb and says "now you infidels will taste Allah's infinite justice". Representing Muslims as hateful and violent people with the desire to kill everyone and as a result, reinforcing the Islamophobic atmosphere that has been overplayed on a global scale. -4 points

Then there's that moment of wisdom where a lesson is being taught, and one of the characters says "It is the duty of the jihadist to bring terror to the enemy and create one global Islamic state". I see. This is the framing of "us" vs. "them" narrative where Leary is representing Muslims as hateful people who desire to implement Sharia law on a global level. Which book is this guy reading again? -5 points

And lastly, you messed with Charlie Brown. No one messes with Charlie Brown. -1 point.

So Mr. Leary, you clearly need some lessons in humour, so get at me. I've got a bunch up my sleeve.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 9, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Culture, Racism, Shima Ghailan

Rihanna | Pop Queen and the 'Ultimate N***abitch'

By Kait Bolongaro

Rihanna is one of the greatest superstars of the last decade and has an undisputable influence on the latest fashion. Yet even one of the most powerful black women of this generation can't escape racist and sexist stereotyping. On December 19 2011, Dutch fashion magazine Jackie published an article about how to dress young girls like the singer. The opening line? "She has street cred, she has a ghetto ass and she has a golden throat." If these words make you cringe, consider the article's title crowning Rihanna: "The N***abitch".

This is the excerpt from Jackie, translated by Parlour, a magazine based out of New York City:

She has street cred, she has a ghetto ass and she has a golden throat. Rihanna, the good girl gone bad, is the ultimate n***abitch and displays that gladly, and for her that means: what's on can come off. If that means she'll be on stage half naked, then so be it. But Dutch winters aren't like Jamaican ones so pick a clothing style in which your daughter can resist minus ten. No to the big sunglasses and the pornheels, and yes to the tiger print, pink shizzle and everything that glitters. Now let's hope she won't beat anybody up at daycare.

Since the original piece is in Dutch, perhaps the term may have a different meaning in English. However, it doesn't. One of TheYBF's Dutch readers confirmed that the term's meaning is identical to the English one. "This is not a 'fashionista' term," stated the reader. "We say bitch here as well and it means exactly the same as in English, as well as 'n***a.'" So the translation is correct and the term creates the same derogatory image as in English for both people of colour and women. So why was this ridiculous story published in the first place?

According to former Jackie Editor-in-Chief Eva Hoeke's 'apology' letter, posted on the magazine's Facebook page, it was meant to be a joke.

First: thanks for all your responses. We are of course very fed up over this and especially very shocked. ....Other than that I can be brief about this: this should have never happened. Period. While the author meant no harm—the title of the article was intended as a joke—it was a bad joke, to say the least. And that slipped through my, the editor-in-chief's, fingers....Furthermore I hope that you all believe there was absolutely no racist motive behind the choice of words. It was stupid, it was naive to think that this was an acceptable form of slang—you hear it all the time on tv and radio, then your idea of what is normal apparently shifts—but it was especially misguided: there was no malice behind it. From the bottom of my heart I say it again: we never intended to offend anyone. And I mean that.

While Hoeke apologized, it doesn't seem genuine. I have the feeling if there hadn't been a public outcry this article would have been an acceptable 'joke'. She also seems to be blaming the author of the article instead of herself even though both are to blame. The day after this article was published, Hoeke resigned from her position as Editor-in-Chief after an intense social media backlash that included a tweet from Rihanna herself who was justly infuriated by the term 'n***abitch' and even ended her message with 'Fuck you Eva'. Jackie magazine has now invited Rihanna to discuss her feelings about the article in their upcoming issue. To be honest, this almost sounds like a publicity stunt.

This article is wrong on so many levels. Rihanna is stereotyped as the 'typical' violent, hypersexual and musical black woman portrayed by the media. The author clearly lacks research skills: Rihanna is from Barbados, not Jamaica. Additionally, this article was intended as advice for mothers to dress their daughters. Since when do pornheels and daycare belong in the same story?

What I find most disturbing about the term "n***abitch" is how particularly derogatory this word combination is towards black women. While all women and black men are insulted, the two histories of these words are intertwined within a black woman's identity and it can't be divided. So, Rihanna is being insulted for being both black and being a woman. These are terms that hurt and don't have a place in our society in 2012.

Posted by Kait Bolongaro | January 12, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Fashion, Kait Bolongaro, Music, Race, Women

Sex Strike in the Philippines for Peace

By Michelle Pham

Women in Dado, Maguindanao launched a collective sex strike to bring peace to the continuous war strife in the troubled village. Armed clashes and tensions existed in two Mindanao villages and were resolved when the women told their husbands that they were no longer welcome at home unless they laid down their weapons, according to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

The women in the village were part of a sewing group and could not sell their goods at the market since the road was closed due to the conflict. The group's feisty leader, Hasna Kandatu, said that the women warned their husbands that they would experience a dry sex spell if they continued the disputes. When interviewers spoke to her husband, Lengs Kupong, he told them that his wife said "If you do bad things, you will be cut off, here," he said, motioning below his waist.

Needless to say, the women in this Muslim clan have got things under control.

Although the situation in the Philippines is hailed by many news channels and reporters as a global phenom, sex strikes are deeply rooted in history and were used quite often in pre-colonial Africa by women who wanted to express their discontent towards their husbands.

In 2006, wives and girlfriends of gang members in Colombia launched a sex strike called "La huelga de las piernas cruzadas" (the strike of crossed legs) in response to the 480 killings in the city of Pereira.

In 2009, women's activist groups in Kenya enforced a week-long sex ban on their partners to protest the infighting plaguing the nation's government.

And why not? They say sex sells. In this case, the lack of sex just isn't worth it for these men.

Enjoy the UNCHR video on how the movement came to be:

Posted by Michelle Pham | January 19, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Asia, Asian Women, Community, Culture, Feminism, International, Michelle Pham, Philippines

WTF Friday | Ad for Gym Compares Itself to Auschwitz

By Vinnie Yuen

Photo credit: Jezebel.com

People should really know better than to use the Holocaust in their ad campaigns. Really.

Jezebel reported on a gym called the Circuit Factory in Dubai that put out an ad with a picture of the Auschwitz concentration camp with the caption, "Kiss your calories goodbye."

The gym's owner, Phil Parkinson, attempted to explain his marketing strategy, saying he went with the image because his gym is "like a calorie concentration camp." Lovely. Because when I want to lose weight, I want to go to a concentration camp for calories.

No! When I want to lose weight, I want to still be able to have dessert. Like chocolate banana cream pie.

Their advertisement should really use my image and caption it with: "You can eat this and we can still help you work it off in under an hour."

Circuit Factory should really hire me instead to do their marketing.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 13, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Advertising, International, WTF Fridays

Five Reasons Why Marriage Scares Men

By Vinnie Yuen

Cracked.com's columnist John Cheese lists five reasons why marriage scares men, but I don't really think it applies to men exclusively.

The reasons he lists are:

1. We're flooded with anti-marriage messages. (Case in point, this scare-tactic article on YourTango)


2. Ridiculously expensive, lavish weddings. (Apparently the average American wedding is almost $25,000. Ouch.)


3. We compare our new relationships to old ones. (Baggage! Not the Louis Vuitton kind!)


4. Divorce is terrifying. (No shit.)


5. Loss of power. (Especially over the remote control)

Hey Cheese, guess what? Those things scare women too!

I constantly hear from female friends that they are not ready to get married, that they have a hard time trusting that the man they're dating is right for them (forever and ever!), and that they simply think living with a man would be a nightmare. I also hear how freaking expensive it is to have a wedding nowadays, and how many women and men would rather just elope. I hear about how baggage from ex-boyfriends haunt current relationships (been there!). I also know women who don't want to do their partner's laundry and become their moms.

If you are exposed to gossip on a daily basis, it's a rocky time for marriage it seems. Married men bitch about their wives. Married women bitch about their husbands. The truth is, marriage is pretty scary. You're joining your life with someone for the rest of your lives, financially and emotionally.

I think at the end of the day, it's about compromise. And the article does a pretty good job of ending on that note. My favourite part is:

But what scares us even more is observing our married friends, and misinterpreting the husband's reactions to questions that used to require no thought. When we ask him if he wants to go out and grab a beer with us, and he replies with, 'Sure, just let me run it by the wife real quick,' we see him as imprisoned. As if everything he does requires permission from a secondary mother.

We don't see it for what it really is: a simple act of courtesy. Making sure that you both don't have prior plans. Or you're not hurting for money this week. Or that the kids don't have something that requires your attention. No, instead, we give him crap about it. 'Sure, sure. You just go ask your mommy, and we'll be over here having a good time like grown men.' "

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 11, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Dating, Vinnie Yuen

Immigrants Creating 23 of 50 Top Venture Companines

By Brandon Woo

There seems to be a stigma about immigrants in society—a belief that foreigners will 'steal' jobs from the actual citizens of a country. After all, why help others when we can help ourselves?

It's almost the same question that some use when debating about foreign aid—why donate to a country like Haiti when we have homeless people too?

You can see this belief reflected in education. At the University of British Columbia, most domestic students pay around $5000 per term. International students, on the other hand, pay at least quadruple that. The Canadian government doesn't subsidize immigrants as much because they're not Canadian.

A new study of the National Foundation for American Policy begs to differ. According to the Foundation, immigrants have at least co-founded 23 of the 50 top venture-funded companies in America. Immigrants aren't just stealing jobs, they're creating them too.

Just have a look at fashion conglomerate Forever 21. It's not on the list, per se, but the list only looks at companies worth under 1 billion dollars. According to Hoover's, in 2008, Forever 21 was worth 1.7 billion dollars.

In many ways, judging people based on where they come from should be considered a form of racism. Compare it to India's caste system. I've been reading Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things. Velutha, an untouchable according to India's caste system, possesses much more skill in carpentry than the other workers in the factory that employs him. Velutha basically runs the factory. However, because he is an untouchable, his superior is only able to pay him a much smaller salary than she would a touchable.

Is that any different than what some people believe about immigrants?

Posted by Brandon Woo | January 11, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Brandon Woo, Culture, Race

Goodbye Text Messaging | The decline of SMS

By Christina Jung

Being a student for many years now, I've become a professional at what I like to call sneak texting or should I say snexting. Snexting is when you carefully cross your legs and hide the cell phone beside your thighs and text away. Eventually, you become a professional at this trick that you no longer need to look at your phone while texting. However, with the advent of touch phones, it makes it a little hard to text without looking.

Teachers and professors, even your parents, hate it when they are talking to the top of your head. They want you to make eye contact, let them know that you are attentively listening to whatever it is they are babbling about. Unfortunately, someone is probably impatiently waiting for your text message reply, and it's rude to keep people waiting...right?

So it was interesting and somewhat shocking to me when I read this article about the decreasing number of text messages being sent around the world. Since 2010, there has been a drop in the number of text messages being sent. Cellphone companies were expecting a high number of text messages during the holiday season, but to their shock, the number was quite a bit lower than the previous years. Shocking right? When you think about it, not really.

With the popularity of social media such as Twitter and Facebook, people no longer feel the need to text every single individual they know and wish them the generic, "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays." Instead, they send a massive Facebook or Twitter status update using the "@" tag to help you direct your message to any individual you wish! Also, with the new creation of iMessage from Apple, why pay for text messaging when you can send pictures and videos for free?!

Is this a foreshadow to the death of SMS? How will cellphone companies scam us now? What ridiculous charges are they going to create for us in 2012? Well, if one thing is for sure, I can safely say goodbye to my snexting days. Farewell old friend.

Posted by Christina J. | January 5, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Christina Jung, Technology

Honouring Milton Wong | I Have an Idea for a Magazine

By Schema Magazine

(Above) Milton and I before he received the City of Vancouver Freedom of the City Award (July 2011)

Milton Wong passed away on December 31st. I was told by his family that he was at peace, surrounded by his loved ones in his home. He had been battling pancreatic cancer.

All the major English and Chinese media outlets in Canada have highlighted the loss of Milton as a great business leader and philanthropist. They applauded his enormous impact on the world: his championing of multiculturalism, social justice, sustainability, the arts and compassion for people living in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. They mentioned his success as an entrepreneur and angel investor. They all failed, however, to mention Milton's immeasurable impact on the world of ideas, his impact on British Columbia's biggest thinkers. He pushed for the support of Aboriginal causes long before the government apologized for the Indian Residential Schools. He advocated for "cultural accommodation" at a time when anti-immigrant sentiment toward the wave of immigrants from Hong Kong was pervasive. More recently, he said to leaders in the finance sector, "There is no such thing as unlimited growth." These were provocative ideas. Today, multiculturalism almost seems passé, sustainability is politically hip and the Occupy movement shows us that Milton was right about the myth of unlimited growth.

I am totally heartbroken.

The last time we made eye contact he rolled down the passenger window of his car and intently looked at me, quietly, serenely pausing, just before he left the BC Cancer Agency. That was the very last time.

Continue reading in Schema Magazine InDepth >

Posted by Alden | January 5, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Alden E. Habacon

WTF Friday | Knit Jean Lounge Pants

By Jocelyn Gan

This post is dedicated to all the guys out there looking to spice up their wardrobe for the New Year. 2012 is the year of the knit jean lounge pants. Yes, you read that correctly—knit jean lounge pants. Now now, before you have the desire to take your limited edition Hermès scarf and want to strangle yourself with it, at least give me a shot at convincing you why this may be the greatest fashion design in the last decade.

Much like the men's boxer making a huge splash when paired with a pair of really low and extra baggy jeans, the knit jean lounge pants (or as I like to call them, the "Hey, I'm going through a mid-life crisis, so to get in touch with my young and cool self, I'm going to wear these jeans to show how hip and stylin' I am!") is the more sophisticated older brother to that year 2000 look.

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, while nursing a hangover from a wild Saturday night, and you find yourself craving some greasy food but having doubts as to whether or not you should leave the house wearing your oh so comfy pajamas, just slip into these jean lounge pants and you'll never feel as if you're making a huge fashion no no.

Just think about all the manly activities you can do while wearing these pants. From playing touch football with the guys, to fixing a leaky pipe for your girlfriend, the options are endless. So men, don't be shy to strut around your living room topless while wearing these pants. Your woman will be impressed she found such a stylish man.

If you find yourself nodding to every word I have written, then what are you waiting for?! Quantities are limited, so get yours before they are all sold out! (Might I add that you take a peak at the camo cargo sweatpants. Pair it with a riffle and no one will ever question your sexuality!)

***
Jocelyn Gan is a graduate of English and Communications from SFU. She loves all animals, but her heart is cat shaped. She hopes to release her cat fashion line in the near future.

Posted by Jocelyn Gan | January 6, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Jocelyn Gan, WTF Fridays

Like Being Photographed? British Women Don't

By Vinnie Yuen

Photo credit: Daily Mail

A Daily Mail article reported that 75 per cent of British women avoid being photographed for fear of how they will look.

According to research, the element women hate most when seeing pictures of themselves is their smile, with 52 per cent who avoid the lens for this reason. The second most common complaint is that they have their eyes closed, followed by being embarrassed by their outfit.

Ironically, a woman's smile is what men are first attracted to, even before cleavage or legs. The biggest turn-off is apparently yellowing or stained teeth.

Celebrity photographer Daniel Kennedy recommends saying "oats" or "plum" to create a sexy shape for your mouth and to keep your chin down and look up through your eyelashes for a face-slimming look that enhances your cheekbones.

There may be tips for those who fear being photographed, but I'd like to know what the cure is for those who insist on uploading 80 photos of themselves posing alone on Facebook. Of course, their behaviour is egged on by the obligatory comments of "sexxxi mama!" or "hawt stuff!" from their lovely friends.

UK women may avoid being photographed, but I definitely know many Canadians who cannot stop taking photos of themselves.

Posted by Vinnie Yuen | January 5, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Vinnie Yuen

"Let Them Eat McDonald's" | Poverty and the Fast Food Myth

By Gayatri Bajpai

Image: everydayminimalist.com

I've heard it said that only aristocrats and the poor swear. Mediocre behaviour can be expected from those who fall in between. Now the bourgeois can claim another trait solely for themselves: that of eating fast food. Exclusively.

It turns out we have just enough money to eat the crap, and too much not to afford it, while not having enough to crank up the class a notch and go to a sit-down. For the poor to feed a family of four on 28 dollars a meal in America is steep, says this article on Time, "Fast Food's Biggest Customer".

According to author Meredith Melnick, research shows there's a cliff of a bell curve to income vs. fast food consumption. It rises with earnings up to about 60,000 dollars annually, and then drops beyond that level as families are able to dine at 'slow-food', sit-down places.

Fast food is not, then, the main culprit to blame when it comes to the problem of obesity among poor people. It's beyond the scope of this article to settle on what exactly is responsible for the (American) epidemic. But it hints that convenience stores could be to blame.

Even more depressing than a well-lit fast food joint is, perhaps, the image of the 'food deserts' mentioned here. These are neighbourhoods where healthy, fresh food is virtually non-existent, and the locals are left with no choice but to buy the high-fat, high-sugar products available at their corner stores instead. At least a burger offers protein.

The article suggests that we should refocus our attention on enriching people's environments, which are as responsible for obesity when barren, as when they are rife with readily available fast food. I'm tempted to be smug that Canada's way better off, but I hear we're headed a similar way with our own obesity problem.

Plus those food deserts sound awfully familiar: I know people who live not too far outside the Vancouver area who've had to take a cab they can barely afford to get groceries. A quick Google Maps search for 'supermarkets greater Vancouver' will reveal that, not too surprisingly, there are a heck of a lot of grocery stores downtown. However, I'd like to know whether places like West Van and North Van have a similar supermarket to population ratio when compared with as densely populated but poorer areas of Van and its suburbs.

Posted by Gayatri Bajpai | January 4, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: Culture, Food, Gayatri Bajpai

Right from Wrong, Ching from Chong

By Justin Ko

It's been almost a year since Alexandra Wallace, a UCLA student, uploaded her infamous "Ching Chong" video to YouTube wherein she complained about Asian students in the library using derogatory language and a cringe-inducing attempt at emulating a "generic" Asian language.

Yet it seems that in the region of Southern California, which contains one of the largest Asian-American populations in the United States, there are still individuals who enjoy poking fun at people of Asian ethnic descent with the utterly nonsensical phrase "Ching Chong."

It seems fruitless to point out that neither Ching nor Chong are particularly common or prolific last names in any Asian ethnicity, since the usage of the phrase portrays ignorance of all Asian cultures and nationalities, which are far from homogenous.

Case in point: in the city of Irvine, a server at a fast food joint—curiously named Chick-Fil-A chain—decided to name two of the customers, who were Asian-American UC Irvine students, as "Ching" and "Chong."

Naturally the students were not impressed by the attempt at humor on their receipts and uploaded the images onto the Internet. After notifying the restaurant manager, it seems that the matter has been settled. But still, as someone who is highly cognizant of the harm that can be caused by "light-hearted" racial humor, I wonder if the darker implications of this incident hint at an underlying tension between Asian-Americans and the rest of America.

Everyone knows by now not to use the racial epithet historically attributed to people of African-American descent; but since no such epithet exists for the Asian ethnicity, it seems that North Americans are given free rein to refer to us with whatever terminology they want.

And of course, "Ching Chong" does not possess nearly the same degree of hatred and harm, but it does convey a comparable amount of ignorance and stereotyping, and I am not sure that there is enough pressure from the greater community as a whole to prevent these incidents from occurring over and over again with relative impunity.

Posted by Justin Ko | January 9, 2012 | Comments (0)

Tags: America, Justin Ko, Race, Racism

This page contains all entries posted to Schema Magazine's Blog, "Daily Dose" in January 2012. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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